The Hits & Misses Of 2022: A Year-End Review

December 31, 2022 by AJ Mijares in Lists

For movie enthusiasts, 2022 was a grab-bag of scattered highlights. From tentpole blockbusters to finespun festival darlings to the long-awaited return of our favorite band of jackasses, this year has produced a multitude of cinematic expressions ranging from the highest calibers of art to the lowest brows imaginable.

As the instant streaming model continues to disrupt theatrical rollout strategies, diminishing COVID fears and mounting resentment over the monopolization of VOD platforms has helped stage a pushback in the opposing direction. Sales from domestic ticket revenue have risen over the last year, projecting $7.4 billion in domestic returns, with much credit to massive franchise players like Top Gun: Maverick, Jurassic World: Dominion, and a few surprise hits.

There’s a long road ahead in repairing what was lost in the pandemic, but this year gave us hope we can cling to and highlights that far eclipse the lowlights. Since I wasn’t able to write about everything I’ve seen this year, here’s a postmortem of the highs and lows on my 2022 long list.

Hit:
Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinnochio

As a visionary who interprets the harshest truths of the real world through a dazzling kaleidoscope of myth and fairy tale fable, Guillermo Del Toro approaches Pinocchio as a dark, handcrafted fantasy that chronicles Italy during the First Great War and the rise of fascism.

Inspired by Walt Disney’s benchmark of 1940s animation, Del Toro’s iteration tells the story of an aging Geppetto and his wooden boy, whose naive tendencies often find him in precarious situations. With the world on the brink of global conflict, Pinocchio must make the ultimate sacrifice to find out what it means to have a heart.

Coming just one year after his Oscar-nominated noir thriller Nightmare Alley, Guillermo Del Toro delivers an immaculate experience with Pinocchio. Given free reign over his passion project by Netflix, this stop-motion animated feature evokes shades of his 2006 classic Pan’s Labyrinth in how it explores the grim realities of fascism through the wonderous lens of a fairy tale.

Miss:
Angus MacLane’s Lightyear

To admit you didn’t enjoy Lightyear is to compartmentalize your lifelong adoration for the Toy Story franchise. In the 27 years since our first meeting with the intrepid spaceman, Disney’s creative priorities have shifted away from innovations in animated storytelling. Makes sense from a business perspective; in today’s competitive climate, there’s less risk in rehashing a formula they helped pioneer rather than taking a swing at something entirely new.

In stark contrast with Pinocchio, Angus MacLane’s Lightyear is an emotionally vacant return to Pixar’s most cherished property with a revisionist take on the iconic space ranger that expands his backstory but abandons the emotional weight behind its original concept. What began as a heartwarming tale about toys finding their purpose becomes a cosmic clutter of visual effects and labored execution that leaves audiences feeling manipulated by its force-fed character development.

Hit:
Claire Denis’ Stars At Noon

Perhaps the most spellbinding spy thriller in years, Stars At Noon trades in its golden gun for a stylish, immaculate vibe with kinetic energy and a lounge jazz score. Despite its arresting visuals, it’s deliberately written to frustrate viewers who expect it to hold any hands through its elusive storyline.

Rather than cloning the framework of James Bond, legendary French filmmaker Claire Denis interprets the 1986 novel by Denis Johnson as a sleek, sexy arthouse film driven not by a straightforward narrative, but by the sheer sensual magnetism between its co-leads Margaret Qualley and Joe Alwyn.

Taking place in Nicaragua during a period of civil unrest, the film’s espionage component is the free-flowing undercurrent of a budding romance between Trish and Daniel, one a journalist stranded behind enemy lines, the other an intelligence operative carrying out a deadly mission. With no plot contrivances, we’re inevitably swept up in Stars At Noon’s orbit and held firmly by Denis’ powerful direction that paints the humidity of South America with youthful radiance and seductive bewilderment.

Miss:
Olivia Wilde’s Don’t Worry Darling

Cheap shots and media headlines aside, Don’t Worry Darling was postured for potential greatness. All the pieces were in place: Olivia Wilde gave us reason to anticipate her follow-up to Booksmart, Florence Pugh’s cumulative track record was pristine, and pop icon Harry Styles did a good job occupying the limited space he was given in Dunkirk.

Although there are some highlights to mention, specifically Chris Pine’s subtle intensity as the film’s antagonist and the post-war era production design by Katie Byron, Don’t Worry Darling’s fatal flaw is in the structural integrity. Rather than its protagonist Alice, the script is only in service to its shakey third-act twist that suffers from deathly self-seriousness. Without proper context and clear motivations, audiences are unable to get a clear understanding of its heroine or her struggle against the shadowy order at the helm of its sun-bleached dystopian setting.

Hit:
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

With culture approaching a stalemate in the ongoing saga of live-action superhero movies, this cult sensation restored our faith in the multiverse as a sprawling playground of imagination when paired with the right choreography, detailed character development, original humor, cultural resonance, and well-rendered sentimentality.

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once is an eccentric sci-fi action adventure that follows a struggling Chinese matriarch (Michelle Yeoh) on a collision course with destiny as she confronts her financial woes, a failing marriage, and a strained relationship with her daughter all while on a daring journey through the multiverse.

Striking perfect harmony in the margins between action, heart, and absurdity, Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s film finds elasticity in the framework of genre and obliterates all expectations for what a multiverse movie still can do. With a total devotion to creativity, Everything, Everywhere, All At Once attempts to reclaim and redefine a subgenre whose tropes we’ve grown desensitized to.

Miss:
Sam Raimi’s Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness

Heading into the new year, Disney’s Marvel Studios continues to rank among the highest-earning production companies, despite the massive dip in critical approval. The studio also found itself embroiled in controversy after numerous visual effects artists have come forward with their stories about worsening labor conditions and the churn-and-burn mentality that Disney has imposed for their cash cow franchise.

Among them is the sequel to Doctor Strange which finds horror legend Sam Raimi back in the director’s chair. While he displays a mastery of skill at creating set pieces that remind us of his roots, the scope of the story’s ambition ditches the organically scrappy vision that made Spider-Man 2 such a fun and campy superhero romp. Instead, his style becomes sidelined and eventually derailed by the contrivances of the studio’s multiversal plot element.

Hit:
Martin McDonagh’s The Banshees Of Inisherin

Finding humor in dark places is a lifelong project for the playwright-turned-filmmaker Martin McDonagh. Re-teaming with his leads from In Bruges, McDonagh weaves this masterful folk tale about two best friends in a rustic lake town who abandon their long-standing alliance to enter a grisly and unexpected blood feud during the Irish Civil War.

Banshees Of Inisherin is a tightly coiled dramedy that makes the most of its lead performances from Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson, one being the lovable dimwit, the other a tortured artist who finds himself at a crossroads. By dealing out shock and wit in equal but contrary measures, McDonagh provides sobering reflections on the irresolvability of conflict and the impermanence of legacy.

Miss:
Robert Eggers’ The Northman

Following the acclaim of his first two feature films, Robert Eggers has earned his place as one of the most talented young voices in cinema today. The Witch and The Lighthouse floored audiences with the degree of historical texture he applies to genre filmmaking. Though he’s an expert in authenticity, he gets lost in the weeds of a perplexing script with his Viking revenge epic The Northman.

The mud-and-bloodsoaked action movie tracks the fearless odyssey of a Norse warrior (Alexander Skarsgard) on a relentless quest to get revenge on the uncle (Claes Bang) who murdered his father and usurped his throne many years ago. With an unassailable premise, The Northman overcomplicates things by swerving into a mystifying realm of spiritual psychedelia. Perhaps expectations just didn’t align, but Eggers’ latest was a surprising letdown that feels like Hamlet on bath salts.

Hit:
David Cronenberg’s Crimes Of The Future

Advancements in biotechnology and human evolution are the dueling forces at play in this mind-bending sci-fi trip from David Cronenberg, the ruling monarch of body horror. Returning to the subgenre he helped establish, Crimes Of The Future is one of the most disturbing moviegoing experiences of 2022.

The film picks up in a timeline where mankind is forced to adapt to the omnipresence of microplastics by miraculously growing new organs. Seen through a performance artist’s (Viggo Mortensen) morbid act of showcasing his own live surgeries, the artist’s death-defying act will attempt to bridge the gap between art and empirical science in an age where “surgery is the new sex”.

From Scanners to Eastern Promises, David Cronenberg is one of the last surviving pioneers of dangerous cinema. This stylized neo-noir isn’t without its imperfections, but its cinematic value lies in Cronenberg’s uniquely calibrated eye for peerless production design. Its aesthetic is futuristic but unmistakably body horror, all constructed practically, which pushes the boundaries of the medium to a gold standard he himself set over 40 years prior.

Miss:
Alex Garland’s Men

There are very few filmmakers with such a high ceiling for greatness, they’re granted “hall passes” by disciples of their work. Like writer-director Alex Garland, who has amassed a fiercely loyal fanbase after his involvement in such contemporary sci-fi classics as 28 Days Later, Dredd, Ex Machina, and Annihilation. In spite of his outstanding track record, his latest film Men was a fumbling psychological puzzle whose pieces don’t ultimately align.

Starring Jessie Buckley and Rory Kinnear in a pair of key roles, Men is a hallucinatory thriller about a woman who embarks on a remote getaway after enduring tragedy, only to find a strange local man who harbors a dreadful secret. Using equal parts melodrama and psychological horror, the total sum of Men delivers flashes of impressive filmmaking but ultimately fails to set up an appropriate sense of resolution. Even its powerful, unsettling atmosphere can’t rectify Garland’s inane script that explores the inherent oneness of toxic masculinity, but trips itself up with its own lofty ambition.

Hit:
James Cameron’s Avatar: The Way Of Water

The long-awaited sequel to James Cameron’s epic plunges you into the deep blue oceans of Pandora, a dazzling world that broke ground in its technical sophistication and total box office gross over 13 years ago. But what sets this installment apart isn’t just its robust visuals, but the bracing reminder of Cameron’s roots as an action movie director. And a damn good one, at that.

The Way Of Water finds the fully assimilated Sullivan clan seeking refuge in the oceanic realms of Pandora with an aquatic race of Na’vi, where a dangerous confrontation brews against a merciless fleet of Space Marines. It parallels Titanic, a movie that runs long in stretches but pays off with a barn-burner third act, whose jaw-dropping set pieces fill the big screen with lush bursts of color and fury and chaos.

As he’s known to do, Cameron also expands the horizons within the universe of Pandora, teeming with life both big and small. From darting schools of minnow fish to massive, sentient whale-like creatures, Avatar: The Way Of Water is a showcase in world-building whose recent crossing of $1 billion at the global box office is a proud vindication of Cameron’s seismic contributions to the history of breathtaking cinema.

Miss:
Joe and Anthony Russo’s The Gray Man

Don’t be fooled by the name; there’s nothing gray about this gaudy spy flick starring Ryan Gosling, Ana De Armas, and Chris Evans that made Netflix history as their most expensive project to date, clocking in a staggering budget of $200 million. Directed by Joe and Anthony Russo, The Gray Man is a mediocre send-up of the espionage subgenre that, despite some visual flair, falls flat as a standalone action movie.

In the genre’s landscape post The Raid and John Wick, it’s easy to notice The Gray Man’s action sequences that are chopped together in jarring, spastic rhythms. With no sense of combat staging and action choreography, it’s hard to follow along with the visual feast the film attempts to offer its viewers. It may be pretty to look at, but the Russos’ latest comes across more like a Fast and Furious movie without an emotional investment in the characters.

Hit:
Todd Field’s TÁR

The drama of TÁR is human in nature but massive in the scope of its questions. Todd Field’s exquisite script examines polarizing issues through the eyes of Lydia Tár, a world-renowned symphony composer who’s rocked by a scandal that threatens her prestige in the public and personal eye.

This powerfully relevant drama walks the balance beam of modern life by painting a fair depiction of her psychological erosion as the world around her begins to question the content of her character. In an ever-changing world that begs a total reconsideration over how we define the endurance of legacy, TÁR begs audiences to ponder the question: can we ever truly separate the art from the artist?

The film’s nucleus is the career-defining heel turn from Cate Blanchette as its egocentric anti-hero Lydia Tár. She plays the part to absolute perfection, with many not realizing she wasn’t actually based on a real person. With award season well underway, Blanchette is poised for overwhelming recognition.

Miss:
Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans

From unwarranted reboots to the revival of Kate Bush, nostalgia is the primary force driving most entertainment in the 21st Century. As the streaming model puts a huge question mark on the future of cinema, a new trend has emerged that finds filmmakers recapturing the dramatic essence of their childhood.

In recent examples like Kenneth Branagh’s Belfast and Charlotte Wells’ Aftersun, these cinematic period pieces explore a wide swath of emotions that feel tenderly excavated from the filmmaker’s past. Though they generally find universal acclaim, few have been bogged down by the glaring presence of hyper-melodrama like Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans.

For someone like Spielberg who has mastered the language of film, every stylistic choice that defines his signature style feels weirdly out of place in a movie so personal to his own life. Outlining an assortment of personal struggles including his Jewish American heritage and the dissolution of his parent’s marriage, the bloated melodrama undercuts some astounding performances with an exaggerated romanticization that better suits his less intimate work.

NEXT | Top 10 Movies Of 2021 (And Where To Find Them)

Chip 'n Dale: The Art of Animation (That Grown-Ups Can Enjoy Too)

June 28, 2022 by AJ Mijares in Lists

In a best-case-scenario turnout, Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers is earning widespread acclaim as one of the best Disney comedies in recent memory. Bursting at the seams with creativity and wit, it manages to succeed as a family movie night staple that appeals to adults with its sophisticated palette of meta-humor.

For grown-up movie watchers in the modern world, animation is a tricky medium to enjoy wholeheartedly. Unless there’s some nostalgic connection to the property, much of the time we’re jaded to the spark of joy we felt as kids. The older we get, the harder it becomes to find the heart and soul in big studio movies like DC League of Superpets or Minions.

But just below the veil of artifice, there’s a conscious formula at play when it comes to animated movies that people of all ages can connect with. In a modern moviegoing scene with such obvious intentions to make as much money as possible, it’s movies like Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers that help remind us of what’s still possible in the realm of animated storytelling. And it’s because of this formula that makes these movies work—so let’s dive into their core elements.

1. They put specificity on a pedestal

*Mitchells vs. The Machines* (2021) - dir. Michael Rianda

Phil Lord and Chris Miller are a filmmaking pair who instinctively know how to shatter preconceptions with everything they do. With the backing of Netflix, the duo helped produce this highly imaginative comedy about a dysfunctional family that bands together to stop a looming AI apocalypse.

On the long list of things that make this 2021 Oscar nominee a bonafide hit for grown-ups is the unwavering singularity of the characters we follow. The script fleshes out characters with distinguished personalities and doles out jokes that are so specific, it points to the craftsmanship that went into making Mitchells vs. The Machines something special. The better we buy into the veracity of its universe, the more it transcends one-dimensionality.

“In every aspect of the movie, from the art style to the characters, we asked ourselves: How can this be as unique and specific as possible? How do we make them like characters you’ve never seen before, and art styles you’ve never seen before, and the type of story you’ve never seen before?”

Michael Rianda | The AV Club

2. They’re not afraid to be bold

*Fantastic Mr. Fox* (2009) - dir. Wes Anderson

There’s a glaring weakness in a lot of animated features with mass-market appeal: they feel familiar to the point of exhaustion, especially in stories sourced from older texts. The challenge to any great filmmaker is how distinctly they can embellish these stories in a visual medium. And no one captures this essence better than Wes Anderson.

His take on Roald Dahl’s fable about a sly, chicken-thieving fox is all but formulaic. Using stop motion techniques with miniaturized, handcrafted backdrops, Wes Anderson enlivens the classic tale with distinct visual taste: elite cinematography, balanced framing, rich color palettes, and a tremendous voice cast that includes George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, and Willem Dafoe.

3. Their lessons are enduringly relevant

Pixar’s Toy Story franchise is a cultural mainstay whose exploits have elevated the medium to new heights Aside from being obscenely lucrative, the films have held a special place in our hearts because of the characters and what their presence has ultimately stood for over the course of 24 years.

Toy Story operates by one overarching central theme: the passage of time. In the same way that Richard Linklater examines time in Before Sunrise and Boyhood, the Toy Story franchise follows characters that have grown along with its target audience; their perspectives shift, their beliefs toggle, and their bonds are tested.

Pixar has a special way of building emotional attachment with inanimate objects. By the time we arrive at the bittersweet conclusion of Toy Story 4, we’re left with a solemn reflection on these toys and what they’ve ultimately meant to us through different stages of life.

4. They’re clever about ‘fan service’

*Who Framed Roger Rabbit* (1988) - dir. Robert Zemeckis

Chip and Dale’s latest odyssey has been called a spiritual successor to Robert Zemeckis’ renowned noir comedy that broke barriers in crossover animation. It pioneered the concept of ‘fan service’ way ahead of its time using the likeness of iconic licensed properties in a highly effective manner that still holds up to this day.

Rather than carelessly cramming in as many recognizable figures as one screen will fit, it establishes a shared universe with cameos that feel more earned than forced. It’s a creative endeavor that established a convention that is omnipresent in today’s movies, though they can’t always tap into effectively.

5. They trigger emotions—but don’t manipulate them

*The Iron Giant* (1999) - dir. Brad Bird

The math is simple: great movies require audience engagement. Animated or not, a movie’s resonance hinges on its ability to deliver a satisfying emotional payoff. Since the dawn of animation, some exemplary titles come to mind, but none pack quite as hard a punch as Brad Bird’s love letter to the beatnik 50s, The Iron Giant.

Set during a period of Cold War panic, The Iron Giant outlines the unlikely friendship between a young boy named Hogarth and a steel behemoth that the government intends to destroy. By placing its focus on that shared connection, its emotional core is grounded in relatable feelings, picking up where Spielberg’s E.T. left off nearly two decades prior.

“The medium itself may have an appeal to kids, but I think the medium is way too powerful for that. And I think that more often you should be trying to appeal to the child in everyone and get to that feeling of wonder and excitement that you have when you’re a child.”

Brad Bird | Entertainment Weekly

6. They let imagination run free

*Spirited Away* (2001) - dir. Hayao Miyazaki

Everything is possible in the realm of animation; it’s more of a philosophy than a fact, as proven by Hayao Miyazaki. He’s a Japanese visionary whose influence has shaped the creative course of the medium as we know it today. As a co-founder of Studio Ghibli, his art interprets our world through a lens of boundless curiosity.

Spirited Away is an Academy Award-winning masterwork, told through the eager eyes of Chihiro, a 10-year-old who happens upon a strange amusement park inhabited by supernatural spirits. Capitalizing on the point that has made him such a driving force in the sphere of animation, Miyazaki expands our worldview by provoking thought on worlds not often seen.

7. They find new angles on what already exists

*Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse* (2018) - dir. Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

Phil Lord and Chris Miller took aim at the Spider-Man mythology and widened the scale of New York’s favorite web-slinger. Parallel to Marvel Studios’ entry to the multiverse, Sony’s smash hit became a zeitgeist that still rivals any Spider-Man movie to date.

Into the Spiderverse was early on the trend of pulling from different universes, featuring seven different iterations of the iconic hero, slinging through concrete jungles in mind-shattering explosions of color. As an animated movie, it beams through as a spectacular sensory overload that renders the possibilities endless for a pre-existing property as famous as Marvel’s superheroes.

The Rom-Com Hall of Fame (According to a Millennial Knuckle Dragger)

February 14, 2022 by AJ Mijares in Lists

When you can’t take five steps into a CVS Pharmacy without seeing endless tunnels of heart-shaped Valentine grams, that can only mean one thing: it’s rom-com season once again. To many of us, Valentine’s Day is traditionally a time to celebrate the ones that we love by splurging for chocolates, flowers, and cozying up to a movie that probably doesn’t involve Vin Diesel.

Historically, romantic comedies are one of the more misunderstood subgenres in mainstream moviegoing. Given how much corny material has been made, it’s easy to fall into the assumption that they’re all just love stories with played-out humor and a happy ending that fades out on a wide shot of a city and a pop song by Natasha Beddingfield.

That can be true in some cases, but many of them are nuanced in ways that we don’t quite articulate on first or even second viewing. The most universally embraced rom-coms have a distinct charm, an effervescence that makes them enjoyable to watch many years later, regardless of gender. This Valentine’s Day, if your significant other would rather avoid being dragged to see Jackass Forever, here’s a curated list of rom-coms that anyone with a working pulse can enjoy.

**10. High Fidelity (2000) - dir. Stephen Frears**

There are tons of romantic comedies told from the perspective of men; far too many are written with an unrealistic charm that isn’t always reminiscent of real people. The movie adaptation of Nick Hornby’s best-seller High Fidelity is a playful, candid exploration of the modern male identity disguised as an offbeat romantic comedy. Love is viewed as something foreign through the eyes of an underachieving music snob (John Cusack) who tries to get his ex back while simultaneously reflecting on the ghosts of relationships past.

The enduring power of High Fidelity isn’t grand romance, but rather its eclectic soundtrack and honest evaluation of accountability in relationships. Our protagonist Rob isn’t the sweep-you-off-your-feet type—he’s actually kind of a jerk. He’s a narcissist, egocentric, and crippled by his inability to take ownership of his actions. Rob must undergo a journey of self-discovery to find the error of his ways and learn how to properly commit.

Available for rent on Amazon Prime

**9. About Time (2013) - dir. Richard Curtis**

Written and directed by Richard Curtis, About Time feels special in that it functions on two fundamental levels: a love story of guy meets girl and a love story between father and son. Both elements converge in this sci-fi/rom-com with a sophistication and depth that will reduce even the most callous of viewers to a fleshy puddle of wailing vulnerability.

It tells the story of Tim and Mary (Domnhall Gleeson and Rachel McAdams), a picturesque couple save for one small wrinkle: Tim can travel backward in time—a trait passed down from his aging father (Bill Nighy). Through Tim’s prolonged hijinks of trying to perfect his journey in love, he learns an important lesson on letting go of the past to make room for his future. Despite the minor imperfections of its time travel mechanism, About Time upends the stale tropes of an exhausted genre to create something wholesome and fresh. Just get your Kleenex ready and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

**8. The Wedding Singer (1998) - dir. Frank Coraci**

Just a few years after his stint as a mainstay cast member on Saturday Night Live, Adam Sandler threw it back to 1985 with The Wedding Singer, a sweet and silly musical comedy about a mild-mannered romantic who falls for an engaged young woman (Drew Barrymore) after his fiance leaves him heartbroken at the altar. From Spandau Ballet to the tri-color shirts and a surprise cameo from Billy Idol, this rom-com classic radiates with a glorious mid-80s gleam.

In typical fashion, Sandler enlists the help of Happy Madison regulars Allen Covert, Kevin Nealon, Steve Buscemi, and Peter Dante to round out his zany lineup of side characters. Most notable of which is the film’s archnemesis in Matthew Glave as the cartoonishly despicable Glenn Gulia. Sporting a flamingo-pink shirt and a blinding white blazer, Glenn is the undisputed king of punchable faces and the foremost profile on the Mount Rushmore of dirtbag movie boyfriends.

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

**7. Hitch (2005) - dir. Andy Tennant**

Though the tide has begun to turn in recent years, there’s been an obvious lack of colored representation in mainstream romantic comedies since the dawn of the artform. From Just Wright to Think Like a Man, most rom-coms with colored leads generally tend to target a specified demographic. In 2005, this cultural barrier proved no challenge for Will Smith, the Philly-born superstar whose accolades continue to speak for themselves, which includes a Best Actor nomination for his most recent work on King Richard.

After Bel Air but long before he showed Venus and Serena how to perfect their backhand, Will was pining for the affections of Eva Mendes in Hitch, a self-produced film featuring colored leads that achieved mainstream recognition and global box office success. There’s a universal magnetism to Will Smith and Eva Mendes’ personalities that seemed to eclipse any perceived notions of skin color. Their onscreen pairing was a celebration of multi-culturalism in the mainstream sense that helped pave the way for a new generation of color diversity in rom-coms that is much more ubiquitous today.

Available for instant streaming on Hulu and Peacock

**6. Singin’ In The Rain (1952) - dir. Gene Kelly and Stanley Donen**

Even for audiences who aren’t into classic cinema, Stanley Donen’s Golden Age opus has cultural reverence as an ageless rom-com with an enduring legacy that transcends age or gender. This delightful and timeless musical examines the labored transition from the silent film era to talkie cinema, which chronicles a blooming dynamic between the incumbent superstar (Gene Kelly) and a rising talent (Debbie Reynolds).

Co-directed by its leading man, who also served as principal choreographer, Singin’ In The Rain is a kaleidoscopic explosion of song, dance, color, and verve. A charming dalliance unfolds between the silent film star and a young starlet named Kathy Selden, the spunky but talented love interest. The iconic duo and their palpable chemistry helped establish blueprints for a genre whose sole aim is to make audiences smile about love.

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

**5. When Harry Met Sally (1989) - dir. Rob Reiner**

The chemistry between a movie’s creative components are just as important than that of its performers. In the 32 years since its release, When Harry Met Sally only grows in the estimation as a delightful rom-com with wit, charm, and brains to boot. All credit due to the creative synergy between its director Rob Reiner and luminous screenwriter Nora Ephron; the resulting balance is a teeter-totter that explores the primitive divide between men and women with sharp and lucid perception.

The film is the preeminent example of “will they or won’t they” between Sally (Meg Ryan) and Harry (Billy Crystal), platonic friends who pass like ships in the night over the course of many years. Set to a robust, big band swoon from Harry Connick Jr., When Harry Met Sally is a hall-of-fame entry that explores the collision of gender dynamics in a way that still feels funny but truthful over three decades later.

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

**4. There’s Something About Mary (1998) - dir. The Farrelly Brothers**

As the filmmakers responsible for Dumb & Dumber and Kingpin, The Farrelly Brothers had a comedic sensibility that loomed large over the nineties. In a decade ruled by entertainment on a massive visual scale, the Farrellys proved that humor can still thrive without a sinking ship or Tyrannosaurus Rex. There’s Something About Mary was one of the highest-grossing films of the year and a benchmark for the R-rated comedy boom of the forthcoming decade.

Starring Ben Stiller as the docile protagonist Ted, a man who gets another chance with the girl who got away (Cameron Diaz), the movie laid the foundation for romantic comedies with raunchy humor but a heart of gold. Much like Judd Apatow’s work in the mid-2000s, There’s Something About Mary was a humanitarian drama with absurdist hilarity. It functions as a story about being true to oneself, but is generally remembered for Cameron Diaz putting ejaculate in her hair. It was the ushering of a brave new era in comedy, one whose boundless audacity is almost completely extinct in movies today.

Available for rent on Amazon Prime and Vudu

**3. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) - dir. Gil Junger**

Teen culture in the late nineties hasn’t aged particularly well in many respects. From the music we consumed to the clothes we wore, so many facets are now considered relics from a bygone era—but not 10 Things I Hate About You. This beloved classic is widely recognized as a milestone of high school rom-coms with a fantastic cast, smartly written script, and a looming influence still felt over 20 years later.

It makes the most of an iconic pairing between the independent-minded Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles) and bad boy Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger). The dichotomy they share still reverberates to this day in any teen comedy where its characters seem precocious with the agency to think for themselves. Rounded out by a tremendous supporting cast in Joseph Gordon Levitt, David Krumholtz, Gabrielle Union and Allison Janney, 10 Things I Hate About You was an emblematic milestone for teenage representation in movies.

Available for instant streaming on Disney Plus

**2. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - dir. Edgar Wright**

A case can be made that of all the great duos we’ve covered, the superlative isn’t two people but rather two genres. British filmmaker and devout cinephile Edgar Wright burst onto the scene with an instant classic that drew considerable influence from cult movies past. Finding inspiration from the work of George A. Romero, Wright blazed a name for himself in contemporary cinema by crafting one of the most celebrated films of the 21st Century in Shaun of the Dead, a zombie rom-com for people who love zombies and rom-coms.

Shaun of the Dead follows a slacker’s (Simon Pegg) fight to survive when an army of the undead wreaks havoc on London. To this day, the movie remains immensely popular with genre fans who recognize its clever and nuanced execution. Being a huge fan of movies himself, Edgar Wright constructed this film as a loving homage to the carnivorous subgenre. But at the heart of this apocalyptic zombie saga, it still manages to connect with audiences through its manchild protagonist and his wayward struggle to get his act together—or risk losing Liz (Kate Ashfield), the woman of his dreams.

Available for rent on Amazon Prime or Vudu

**1. The Princess Bride (1987) - dir. Rob Reiner**

There are many reasons why The Princess Bride still resonates as a cherished cult classic. For one, it’s incredibly quotable, much to the credit of its screenplay by the legendary William Goldman. Secondly, audiences love the simplicity of its plot—a swashbuckling adventure that outlines a storybook romance between Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright) and the brave farmhand Westley (Cary Elwes) and the lengths he’ll go to rescue her from the clutches of evil.

What differentiates The Princess Bride from the rest of the rabble is the sheer creativity of its execution. Rob Reiner’s fantasy world is fueled by imaginative, childlike wonder with adoring characters who speak in distinguished voices. With a colorful supporting cast that includes Wallace Shawn, Andre the Giant, Fred Savage, and Christopher Guest, this classic bursts at the seams with uncontrollable originality. Even outside the boundaries of romantic comedy, The Princess Bride stands on its own as a must-see for all ages and genders.

Available for instant streaming on Disney Plus

Next | ‘Malignant’ and the Guide to Surviving a James Wan Horror Movie

12 Thoughts You Have While Watching 'Eternals'

January 31, 2022 by AJ Mijares in Lists

Earlier this month, Marvel Studios released Eternals on Disney Plus. Chloe Zhao’s action fantasy chronicles the eon-spanning voyage of the eponymous Eternals, a band of immortal warriors who are thrust out of hiding to confront an ancient darkness. This globetrotting superhero epic ranked sixth in domestic returns for all of last year but as we’ve discussed, 2021 was an atypical year for box office performance.

Under the continued supervision of studio tri-heads Kevin Feige, Louis D’Esposito, and Victoria Alonso, Marvel Studios released 4 features last year with Eternals falling dead last, taking in just $165 million in stateside revenue. Those results may sound lofty but the truth is, that’s the second-worst performance for a movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, trailed only by Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk (2008).

Notwithstanding the unquestionable impact of COVID-19, Eternals fell short of the mark financially as well as critically, with a word-of-mouth reputation that could best be described as ‘aggressively mediocre’. The film currently boasts a 48% rotten score but to its credit, it’s hard to sell a celestial origin story sandwiched between Phase Four juggernauts Shang Chi and Spider-Man: No Way Home. In spite of that notion, Marvel’s continued ambition encourages fans to keep up with the latest on the developing mythology—or risk falling behind on the zeitgeist.

Bearing all this in mind, I came into the Eternals streaming experience with an appropriate dissolution of expectations. As the MCU marches into its 14th year, longtime viewers can recognize that even lower-tier entries have their own unique merits. Upon viewing, it becomes clear that while Kumail Nanjiani’s granite jawline can’t single-handedly keep the film in continuous motion, that doesn’t change the fact that Eternals is one of the ballsiest undertakings in franchise history; though it’s riddled with outrageous faults, you can’t help but respect its relentless audacity. Instead of trying to extract any meaningful analysis, let’s have some fun and tap into the inner stream of thought while watching along to Marvel’s Eternals.

Some spoilers ahead

1. “An expository text crawl…what could go wrong?”

As we come to find out, Eternals is a movie with blatant disregard for the cardinal rules of storytelling. Rather than opening with the iconic Marvel Studios production intro, it starts off with a cold open, a bootleg Star Wars-ian info dump unpacking lightyears of exposition in a recap of the origins of life. To establish lore by breaking the accepted rule of “show, don’t tell” might seem clunky, though when put into perspective, doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

By this point in the MCU, we’ve seen Norse demigods, interdimensional time travel, sentient AI, and Mark Ruffalo in a Duran Duran t-shirt. As bulky as the exposition dump may seem, the MCU’s increasingly complex direction requires lore that is high-concept. Though it is somewhat clunky and formulaic, it’s more of a necessary evil at this point in the story.

2. “The landscape cinematography is better than it deserves to be.”

One of the biggest upsides of Eternals is the vision of its acclaimed director Chloe Zhao. Just one year prior, she swept the Academy Awards in two categories including Best Picture and Best Director for Nomadland. Alongside veteran MCU cinematographer Ben Davis, they render both natural and intergalactic worlds with engrossing enormity.

Where Nomadland examines the place of a wandering spirit in contrast to the windswept frontier, Eternals mirrors that visual scale, but divorces it from any emotional resonance. When your focus is placed on chiseled warlords who fly around fighting CG aliens, it becomes difficult to comprehend the scope of its physical setting. The starry cosmos and foamy rolling seas are gorgeously depicted, but who really notices when Angelina Jolie is stabbing things with a staff made of lasers?

3. “I can’t believe Marvel chose this as the movie that will finally feature a sex scene.”

In the decade-and-a-half since Marvel Studios has been making movies, not once have they attempted a sex scene, for pretty obvious reasons. Given its Disney parentage, they deal with adult themes every now and again, but these movies are generally considered kid-friendly content—that is, before Eternals came into the picture.

In order to build a romance subplot, the movie details an awkward moment of intimacy between Ikaris (Richard Madden) and his companion Sersi (Gemma Chan) after helping the ancient Babylonians build a civilization. The scene plays out in seconds with no overt sexualization, but the fact that they went there is startling. Better them than Wanda and Vision, I suppose.

4. “This movie needs a Snyder Cut.”

Just half an hour into the movie, you can distinctly feel that Eternals is reaching for something so much bigger than we expected it to. Not since Justice League has there been a superhero epic with so many overlapping storylines, tonal inconsistencies, and irrational ambition that simply can’t be jammed into a 2-and-a-half hour timeframe.

In another reality, it could have easily constituted its own 10-part streaming series or supercut that expands on the world and the characters who inhabit it. This concept runs parallel to Zack Snyder’s four-hour cut of Justice League, a flawed movie that was a vast improvement over Joss Whedon’s translation. It wasn’t perfect, but it did help prove that massive stories need to allow room for viewers to grasp its characters, their motivations, and the larger story elements.

5. “Jon Snow and Robb Stark caught in a bizarre love triangle.”

Marvel’s casting has always been instrumental to the success of their massive franchise. Even after 14 years, they still find ways to surprise viewers; in Phase Three alone, we’ve seen Sylvester Stallone as a space marauder and Matt Damon as a thespian of Asgard. In 2021, the MCU collides with Game of Thrones in one of the most outlandish casting decisions we’ve seen so far.

In Eternals, Kit Harrington plays Dane, a science professor and Sersi’s love interest in the human world. When peril strikes unexpectedly and her centuries-long brush with old flame Ikaris is reignited, the unholiest ménage à trois is born between Robb Stark, Jon Snow, and a woman coincidentally named Sersi. Audiences may have predicted how Thanos would be defeated, but no one could have guessed we’d see a love triangle play out between the half-brothers of Winterfell.

6. “We’ve reached a new low for Marvel CG.”

Since Avengers first launched us into the outer orbits of space, Marvel has fallen into a painful habit of introducing the most generic CG monsters that serve no purpose but to pose a marginal threat to the protagonists. The formula might seem time-worn, but it’s generally forgiven as a necessary evil to establish conflict.

Eternals brings that trope to a screeching halt over its mediocre depiction of Deviants, beast-like alien creatures with opposable tendons. Their strange neon luminescence counteracts the beauty and realism of Chloe Zhao’s grounded visual style. When you consider the progressively cosmic direction this franchise is going in, it’s safe to say we haven’t seen the last of the alien creatures. Or abominable cloud monsters, in Loki’s case.

7. “The time-hopping is ludicrous.”

One of the movie’s biggest struggles is following the immortal heroes through mankind’s proverbial timeline. Their voyage spans across the globe at different points in time, trying not to meddle in human conflict but imparting tools, wisdom, and resources onto primitive civilizations to help their species thrive.

In doing so, the movie follows an unconventional narrative structure that shoots back and forth in time with a frustrating lack of rhythm. Within 30 minutes, we’re whisked from a village in ancient Babylon to present-day South Dakota, then back to an Aztec temple, then forwards to present-day India. From a viewer’s standpoint, the narrative whiplash becomes too jarring to try and comprehend.

8. “Kumail Nanjiani is the single best part of this movie.”

Since his claim to fame as Dinesh on HBO’s comedy series Silicon Valley, Kumail Nanjiani has been on a colossal upswing since 2014. After finding mainstream success with his starring vehicle The Big Sick co-written with his wife Emily Gordon, he’s been nominated for an Oscar, nominated for an Emmy, and now landed a coveted role in the MCU as Kingo, the Eternals’ resident funnyman.

There’s more to the Pakistani-born actor than just his sense of humor though. He’s not just one of the funniest comedians working today, he’s also one of the most physically magnetic specimens to walk the earth, having endured an arduous transformation to prepare for his role in Eternals. Given Marvel’s push toward ethnic diversity in casting, Nanjiani is a beacon of Middle East representation in the cultural zeitgeist. In the same way that Ryan Reynolds finally found the role he was born for in Deadpool, Kumail Nanjiani’s future seems astonishingly bright as the prima donna Bollywood star Kingo.

9. “Hiroshima? Seriously?”

From Fast & Furious to Ocean’s Eleven, all great crews need an innovator; in Eternals, that role is filled by Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), resident genius whose groundbreaking designs were intended to help mankind thrive, from field plows to steam engines. The inventor comes to a grim revelation during World War II when he stands among the ashes of a war-torn Hiroshima.

At face value, it’s easy to write off Marvel’s creative decision as tone-deaf and misguided. While the emotions are conveyed with sincerity, it seems improper to turn this true-life tragedy into a convenient plot device. Their larger intent doesn’t dawn on viewers until Phastos breaks down, lamenting a question that exposes the overarching metaphor of the entire MCU: is mankind ultimately worth saving?

10. “I love a good ‘preparing for the final battle’ montage.”

Even in preposterous movies, there’s a tangible ecstasy in the montage preceding the final battle. If Rocky can grow a beard and chop down trees in the Soviet snowstorms of Rocky IV, the Eternals can brace for mystic combat by gearing up and donning their enchanted armor in true superhero fashion.

In a movie so repeatedly derailed by its lack of consistency, the third act lead-up plays surprisingly well as an epic movie moment, much to the credit of its triumphant musical score by composer Ramin Djawadi, also known for his tremendous work on Game of Thrones.

11. “Death by sun = funniest Marvel demise ever.”

The mythological tale of Icarus, the boy undone by his own destructive ambition is re-enacted—quite comedically—when it’s revealed that Ikaris betrayed the order and led Prime Eternal Ajak (Salma Hayed) to her doom. After the remaining Eternals coalesce to thwart his treachery, he becomes wracked by guilt and wordlessly flies into the sun, apparently killing himself.

While Ikaris’ demise is portrayed as the film’s emotional reckoning, his half-baked decision was so abrupt that you can’t help but chuckle at how on-the-nose it feels. As the most powerful of the Eternals, his not-so-shocking heel turn had WWE levels of theatricality. One can almost imagine that “Ikaris -> sun” must’ve been the very first thing on the writer’s room whiteboard.

12. “From boy band to blockbuster.”

Given how ubiquitous spoiler culture has become in recent years, it was impossible not to know the details surrounding the mid-credit stinger which introduces Harry Styles as Eros, brother of the Mad Titan Thanos. Though the dramatic reveal was undercut by the introduction of Pip—his laughable CG sidekick—it delivered the long-awaited bridge between Eternals and the wider Marvel pantheon.

Since giving a surprisingly cogent performance in Christopher Nolan’s war epic Dunkirk, Harry Styles has been on the rise in terms of movie star marketability. Alongside fellow MCU newcomer Florence Pugh, the pop star will be headlining Olivia Wilde’s forthcoming psychological thriller Don’t Worry Darling, set to release in September. The details of how Marvel plans to employ him still remains to be seen but if Kevin Feige’s vision remains unchanged, there’s only One Direction this franchise can ultimately go: up and into the sun.

Next | 13 Thoughts You Have While Watching "F9”

Top 10 Movies of 2021 (and Where to Find Them)

December 31, 2021 by AJ Mijares in Lists

It’s been an unprecedented year in entertainment, to say the very least. In the shapeless wake of 2020, movie fans have acclimated themselves to an obscure type of normal characterized by release delays, pushed movies from last year, and a stupendously back-loaded final quarter. The past 12 months have given us a grab-bag of total bombs, hidden gems, influential documentaries, enormous franchise entries, and rhapsodic prestige feature films—many of which through streaming platforms over theatrical.

As last year’s would-be blockbuster Tenet came to forecast, 2021 was a shaky year for the industry’s profitability. As the pandemic stands at the precipice of its second year in the US, movie fans can distinctly feel the culture undergoing a seismic transition. Continued volatility in box office returns reflects an ongoing disinterest in the in-theater experience for anything outside the Marvel canon. More studios are opting for a limited theatrical release, if not a straight-to-VOD model, especially for those non-franchise titles. Many others are opting to produce miniseries’ rather than feature films, causing concern about the long-term viability of antiquated customs.

With so few titles that actually embedded themselves into the mainstream awareness, there were a number of movies that still managed to stray ahead of the pack. Some of which were reputed as event films, though others received little to no marketing at all. Though all of them vary in genre and scale, they’re united under the banner of 2021, a year that reset our baseline for equilibrium. The art reflects a search for resolve in times of change—a prevalent theme that resonates far too well in real life.

10. Godzilla vs. Kong - dir. Adam Wingard

This may come as a surprise but the truth is that there’s been no massive spectacle that was able to top the sugar rush of sheer destruction like Godzilla vs. Kong. Adam Wingard’s colorful creature feature was a thoroughly entertaining adventure and the first movie this year to breach the $100m mark at the box office, despite going straight to HBO Max on the same day. Although each of the films in both of Legendary’s respective franchises yielded far greater returns than this, Godzilla vs. Kong was a beacon of hope, a fuzzy-fisted haymaker of normality.

It may lack the subtlety or pathos of many other movies you’ll see on this list, but it’s hard to think of a movie that can match the unbridled joy of seeing a 50,000-ton ape throwing a right hook to the face of a giant neon lizard. In an interview with RogerEbert.com, filmmaker Adam Wingard reflected “there were plenty of times where I didn’t even think this goal would be possible. But here we are, and it was such a great experience to be able to work off of pure imagination”. Wingard’s push from indie movies into blockbuster filmmaking was a monstrous event that highlighted the importance of letting your brain take a backseat.

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

9. No Sudden Move - dir. Steven Soderbergh

It’s no world-stopping blockbuster, but Steven Soderbergh’s crafty crime caper No Sudden Move is a sharp shot of clever storytelling. Set against the pre-segregated cityscape of 1950s Detroit, this movie might depict a relic of cultural antiquity but its story explores the unchanging aspects of greed and human nature. That’s not to say the movie isn’t fun; its jags and clever plot twists will keep you guessing throughout. With some great lead performances by Don Cheadle and Benicio Del Toro, it stands as one of the more understated moviegoing experiences of the year.

The movie moves with a cool, jazzy strut and a snappy musical score by Soderbergh’s longtime collaborator David Holmes. With a distinguished body of work that includes Ocean’s Eleven and Logan Lucky, stylish crime capers have clearly been a recurring motif for Steven Soderbergh, a filmmaker who consummately understands the importance of setting a strong vibe, from the characters to the music. And if still you aren’t sold, have I mentioned that Brendan Fraser is in this movie?

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

8. Inside - dir. Bo Burnham

I know what you might be thinking: Bo Burnham’s Inside is more of a comedy special than a movie. One could feasibly make that argument—but given its deeply meditative nature, feature film runtime, and the fact that it got a limited theatrical release, the 30-year old comedian shows a sensational talent for building a bouncy oddball narrative in the isolated struggle to stay inside, both physically and emotionally.

Burnham’s latest work is an exhaustive solo effort, fusing highly creative song performance with darkly humorous sketch, all within the walls of a single setting. Despite seeing his onscreen emotional reckoning unfold in real time, his absurdist comedy shines through with impeccable timing. Its poignant resonance rivals that of a narrative drama and as an objective body of work, Bo paints a funny but moving portrait of human vulnerability during times of uncertainty. This high-wire act is an incredible artifact of our time and to date, stands as one of the best artistic reflections on the COVID-19 pandemic.

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

7. Don’t Look Up - dir. Adam McKay

Given the world’s current state of tumult on a massive global scale, it only makes sense why Adam McKay felt it necessary to tell this darkly comedic satire about the end of the civilized world. Since diverting from broader comedies like Step Brothers, McKay has occupied himself with numerous entries that strike a fine line between levity and true-life catastrophe. In an interview with Vox, McKay mentions “I think when you hit dynamics this warped, you kind of have to laugh. Laughter and anger are the two states you shift between.”

Taking a satirical poke to American society’s touchier subjects is a formula he’s found himself returning to since 2015’s The Big Short. His latest straight-to-Netflix release Don’t Look Up is pretty ham-fisted about its metaphors on climate change, but its ensemble cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Meryl Streep, Jonah Hill, and Rob Morgan (just to name a few) help inflate this calamitous doomsday prophecy with enough laugh-out-loud humor to float as a standalone comedy, though it leaves you with an outer layer of realism that is as ominous as it is an honest reflection of our time.

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

6. Titane - dir. Julia Ducournau

When observing 2021 as a whole, it’s clear to see that it’s been a male-dominated year in mainstream moviegoing. From Free Guy to F9 and No Time to Die, a majority of the year’s biggest and most successful titles are disproportionately slanted toward male audiences. With Chloe Zhao becoming the second woman to win Best Director for Nomadland at the Academy Awards, you can start to feel fractures forming in the barrier for talented female storytellers; at the frontlines of this groundbreaking cinematic movement stands provocative French filmmaker Julia Ducournau.

Her incendiary sophomore feature film Titane won the Palm d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival and will be remembered as one of the most disruptive moviegoing experiences of the year. It tells the story of Alexia, a troubled young woman who spirals into a violent identity crisis after a childhood car crash leaves her with a titanium plate in her skull. In a time where most movies are so often characterized by their corporate sanitization, Titane’s beauty lies in its balance of tenderness and unflinching brutality.

Much like her acclaimed debut with 2018’s Raw, Ducournau’s radical arthouse horror tells a touching story at its core, despite being graphic, bizarre, and just plain filthy on its surface. Her penchant for unconventional cinematic storytelling imbues the film with a deep irreverence for boundaries in a way that feels so much fresher than anything else available. It’s not an easy sit-through, but for bold viewers who crave uncompromising artistry, look no further.

Available for rent on Vudu

5. The Harder They Fall - dir. Jeymes Samuel

In recent years, the Old West subgenre has failed to generate the mainstream momentum it once had when young giants Clint Eastwood and Paul Newman grazed big screens. Sure, there’s been a few scattered titles littered throughout each decade; the ‘90s had Unforgiven, the 2000s had The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and the 2010s had Django Unchained. If past dictates present, it seems our contemporary cultural shift has given each respective decade only one or two shots to produce a proverbial Western classic.

Jeymes Samuel’s The Harder They Fall isn’t poised with the dusty eloquence of a Sergio Leone film, but rather chooses to pave its own way as an homage to the gunslingers of yore with a blaxploitation twist that reopens the genre for modern-day audiences. This blood-soaked revenge thriller follows a scorned outlaw seeking retribution for the man who murdered his family after he is released from prison.

Lead by an outstanding lead cast in Jonathan Majors, Lakeith Stanfield, Zazie Beetz, Regina King, Idris Elba, and Delroy Lindo, the film stomps with incredible confidence and reinvigorates all that we find cool about the Wild West. The gunplay is calamitous and comic book-like, so the action unfolds like a modernized cross between Tombstone and Kingsman. Set to a thunderous contemporary soundtrack that celebrates Black culture, The Harder They Fall reimagines Western cinema in the rowdiest shoot-em-up of the decade so far.

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

4. West Side Story - dir. Steven Spielberg

Over the course of an illustrious 40 year span, Steven Spielberg has firmly cemented his legacy as a godhead of modern cinema—though in recent years, he hasn’t been able to rekindle the joyous wonders of E.T. or the unbridled terrors of Saving Private Ryan. When it was announced he was going to take on West Side Story, the skepticism ran roughshod and questioned the need for another remake that no one seemed to ask for.

The maestro makes no labor to rewrite a Shakespearean tragedy but greatly succeeds at breathing fresh new life into the world of West Side Story. The story beats are wound tighter than a drum, the choreography feels more lively, the camera movements are more dynamic, the skirmishes feel grittier and war-like. Set to the racially divided backdrop of 1950s New York, this outstanding adaptation of one of cinema’s most celebrated classics is a masterclass of cinematic re-telling and an amazing return to form for Steven Spielberg.

Now in theaters nationwide

3. The Green Knight - dir. David Lowery

More akin to a stained glass hero’s fable than a hack-and-slash medieval conquest, David Lowery’s The Green Knight got a lot of buzz from indie crowds by carving out its own realm of Arthurian fantasy. The film takes place in ancient England on a wintry Yuletide night when a mysterious woodland warrior pays a visit to the round table. After throwing down a challenge to King Arthur’s headstrong nephew Gawain, he must depart the comforts of home to embark on a perilous quest to find his own legacy.

Crafted with an intense devotion to historical accuracy in the grandest scale, The Green Knight is one of the most beautifully shot films of the decade so far. The prose is somber and poetic so its story plays out like timeless folklore, propped up on a tremendous lead performance by Dev Patel. Lowery’s meditative opus is a resounding work that interrogates and reframes our definition of ‘greatness’, though those in search of an old English action movie may want to consider looking elsewhere.

Available for rent on Vudu, Prime Video, or Apple TV

2. Dune - dir. Denis Villeneuve

Frank Herbert’s famously unadaptable sci-fi epic is translated with groundbreaking panache in Denis Villeneuve’s Dune, the first of a two-part film series. With a track record that includes Arrival and Blade Runner 2049, the French-Canadian filmmaker is no stranger to event films that capitalize on spectacle. His latest is widely being recognized as his magnum opus, a blockbuster exhibition, and the crown jewel of effects-driven cinema since Avatar in 2009.

Contrary to David Lynch’s notoriously troubled 1984 film adaptation, Villeneuve’s far-reaching premise is streamlined by sticking closely to its hero’s journey; the movie follows Paul Atreides, a gifted young man caught in the crossfire of a massive interplanetary war. With an ensemble cast comprised of Timothee Chalamet, Josh Brolin, Jason Momoa, Oscar Isaac, and Rebecca Ferguson, the movie never feels overbearing but functions rather beautifully at every given level.

Villeneuve transports viewers to the warm sands of Arrakis, a nutrient-rich desert shot with a colossal sense of futurism and scale. In spite of its day-and-date release on HBO Max, the film is a breathtaking achievement of visual storytelling whose sensory immersion is amplified by the in-theater experience. The unfortunate reality is Dune made less than $400 million worldwide at the box office this year—a number that doesn’t hold a candle to the highest-earning titles of the last decade. Regardless, it stands to reason that Villeneuve’s sweeping epic will be remembered as one of the boldest undertakings in the history of science fiction.

Available for rent on Vudu, Prime Video, or Apple TV

1. Pig - dir. Michael Sarnoski

For several years running, the lord of eccentricity Nicolas Cage has been marching proudly to the beat of his own drum. From starring in the psychedelic brain-melter Mandy to voice-acting as the protagonist Grug in The Croods: A New Age, the sheer depth of roles that Cage has taken on shows a full-formed realization of his true gift as a performer. They don’t always work but evidently, fans couldn’t be happier.

Cage delivers a tour-de-force performance in Michael Sarnoski’s Pig, one of the year’s most surprising and powerful dramas. This low-budget gem follows Rob, a reclusive truffle hunter who lives in the remote Oregon wilderness with his beloved foraging pig. When his home is broken into and she’s stolen in the dead of night, Rob goes on a tireless search through Portland’s culinary underground to find his treasured friend.

What sets this performance apart isn’t Cage’s unpredictability that audiences have come to expect, but rather his restraint as the derelict protagonist Rob. In order to best serve the emotional demands of the story, his role requires a tremendous amount of subtlety and quiet pain. By stripping that inherent sarcasm, the film becomes a somber portrait of alienation and belonging that helps remind us why Nicolas Cage has endured in the cultural continuum.

Available for instant streaming on Hulu

"Malignant" and the Guide To Surviving a James Wan Horror Movie

October 30, 2021 by AJ Mijares in Lists

The early 2000s were an abysmal time for horror movies. Save for a few notable exceptions, the new millennium summoned from the depths of hell a horde of sequels and remakes that achieved financial success, though they’ve pretty much dissipated from all cultural importance whatsoever—think Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows. In 2003, a pair of Australian pals set out to shatter the paradigm and began work on something fresh, something cerebral and raw. What materialized was a low-budget puzzle movie about two men trapped in a room; a simple premise with unflinching execution.

That film was Saw, a huge commercial success and one of the most ballsy, original films of the last quarter-century. Until then, it was ludicrous to think that a movie about a man who has to carve his own limbs off would ever achieve mainstream popularity. At that moment, with the help of his screenwriting companion/co-star Leigh Whannell, James Wan threw his name in the hat as one of the most visionary horror talents in a sea of faceless filmmakers, thus becoming one of the first mainstream horror directors to emerge in the new millennium.

Fast forwarding 17 years, James Wan has transcended his mold to become a staple of blockbuster filmmaking and the driving force behind some of the most successful franchises in the history of cinema. As a director/producer, his horror films have amassed over $3.8 billion in global revenue. His latest Malignant which hit theaters and HBO Max last month is a pulpy return to form that takes his work in a fun new direction and sets the tone for this calamitous Halloween season.

As an avid horror fan (and former Cub Scout), I like to think there are some important survival tips that viewers can absorb from these blood-curdling tales. To see the end credits of his twisted nightmare scenarios, you must operate by a rigid set of principles and follow them blindly as your biggest keys to survival. So follow along, if you’ve got the stomach for it.

Writer’s Note: Many notable films have been left off this list. For convenience, I only included the horror movies that Wan directed.

If you spring awake to find yourself chained to a pipe, look out for yourself before helping others - Saw (2004)

It’s hard to fully articulate the ground-shaking impact of James Wan’s depraved inaugural feature. This pale, twisted lovechild of Cube and Seven is an unnerving horror experience that has withstood the test of time and spawned so many sequels, they give James Bond a run for his money. The film follows Adam (Leigh Whannell) and Lawrence (Cary Elwes), two strangers who’ve been chained to a pipe in an abandoned room by a killer obsessed with teaching his victims a morbid lesson.

Toward the end of the film, we reach a revelation that still incites frustration at an obvious logistic flaw on part of the co-protagonist Adam. Considering he’s fallen prey to a killer who obsesses over teaching virtue, his most important lesson is learned when he realizes the key to his own lock floated down the drain of the tub he woke up in. This clever moment is seared into the minds of horror fans worldwide and helped establish Wan’s legacy as a filmmaker who isn’t afraid of going the distance.

2. If investigating a murder case where a ventriloquist dummy is your suspect, quit your job and find a new calling - Dead Silence (2007)

Wan’s biggest box office bomb also happened to achieve retroactive cult status among horror fanatics for its cheap scares and corny thrill. Sitting at 21% on Rotten Tomatoes, his third studio feature Dead Silence was predictable, poorly acted, and fell beneath the benchmark established by Saw, but carved its own legacy of tapping into our primordial fear of possessed dolls long before Wan explored this territory with Annabelle.

Despite some inherent flaws, Wan presented his natural ability to construct sequences that induce jumpy tension through unnerving imagery. It’s not very sophisticated, but it’s pulpy and dynamic with an energy that feels nightmarish compared to the barbaric realism of Saw. Rather, Dead Silence goes for pure hellspawned terror in a world where an enchanted nursery rhyme can summon a creepy wooden puppet to sever your tongue with a pair of scissors. Sadly for protagonist Detective Jim Lipton (Donnie Wahlberg), he learns his lesson far too late.

3. If a family member starts astral traveling to a ghost dimension, disown them - Insidious (2011)

Insidious is James Wan’s first splash into sophisticated supernatural horror with a high-concept twist. This lo-fi blockbuster makes the most of its $2 million budget while taking audiences to “The Further”, an otherworldly dimension inhabited by malevolent spirits, in relentless pursuit of a human host to invade the land of the living.

Unlike his previously directed horror entries, Wan sidesteps the shock-and-awe obscenity for a more intelligent, patient PG-13 story that affixes our perspective to a family of likable, well-acted characters spearheaded by Rose Byrne and Patrick Wilson. The Lambert family patriarch (Wilson) must confront the demons of his childhood when he learns that access to The Further was hereditarily passed down onto Dalton (Ty Simpkins), his 12-year-old son. Staring into the hideous face of an ancient demon, family bonds are important and all—but sometimes you just have to know when to pick your battles.

4. If your dog dies within one day of moving into a new house, burn it to the ground - The Conjuring (2014)

For non-horror fans, one of their more understandable takes against the genre is the fact that horror movie characters aren’t generally known for their smart or informed decisions. We’ve joked about it for decades and one of its most classic examples also happens to be the crown jewel in James Wan’s illustrious canon. Based on the true-life cases of paranormal researchers Ed and Lorraine Warren, The Conjuring to this day remains one of the most important haunted house movies of all time.

Upon release, it found colossal success—the aftershocks of which carry onto the present day, having spawned two direct sequels and five spin-offs that have grossed over $2.1 billion in less than 10 years. The Conjuring shifted the landscape of horror by popularizing the idea of an interconnected universe, much to the dismay of the film’s afflicted protagonists, the Perron family. After moving into an obviously haunted farmhouse in the remote brush of Rhode Island, they choose to do nothing when their family dog Sadie is found dead the very next day. Moving might be an expensive ordeal but to stay put is pretty much asking for it.

5. If you start astral traveling and become possessed, you clearly didn’t follow the third rule - Insidious: Chapter 2 (2015)

Though the Saw franchise churned out an astounding number of Wan-produced sequels, Insidious: Chapter 2 was the first sequel that he ever actually directed—and it certainly shows. Coming back to the creative well he first sprung in the Further, this film showcased a polished refinement in his directorial instinct, with a number of stylistic flourishes that help expand the lens through which we see his world.

The premise follows patriarch Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) who can’t seem to catch a break in the Further, as this sequel finds him possessed by a vengeful spirit he encounters in the first film. This worthy follow-up breaks the “bad sequel” curse that is so regularly suffered by horror franchises and finds inventive new ways to make audiences tremble with fear. For poor Patrick Wilson, the undisputed Scream King of the extended Wan-iverse, the curse in this sequel seems much too literal.

6. Inverted crucifix means “not welcome here” - The Conjuring 2 (2018)

Unsettling religious imagery is a crystallization of what makes horror movies so exhilarating: an otherworldly occurrence that defies all hope, logic, and reason. Even for people who don’t consider themselves religious, it’s common knowledge by this point that an upside-down crucifix spells nothing but bad news. The Warrens find out the hard way in The Conjuring 2 as they venture across the pond to help out a God-fearing Enfield family who are tormented by the spirit of a wretched old man.

The success of The Conjuring universe owes a lot to its grounding in spiritualism and faith. One of the franchise’s most iconic scenes features the Hodgson family’s second-eldest daughter Janet (Madison Wolfe) trapped in a dark room littered with crucifixes. Hyperventilation kicks in as the mounted crosses start turning upside down on their own, which culminates in a terrifying jumpscare that feels rightly earned. This hair-raising moment is a snapshot of supernatural terror that helps signify the essence of what makes this franchise so definitive.

7. Gruesome visions of murder after suffering head trauma? Skip the neurologist, see a priest - Malignant (2021)

James Wan’s latest is campy and chaotic with the subtlety of a sledgehammer; in other words, it has all the ingredients of a future cult classic. It achieves a balanced measure of human intrigue and splendid carnage that proudly presents itself as a supernatural thriller with an obscene sense of self-awareness. The hard-R splatter film follows Madison (Annabelle Wallis), a young woman who starts experiencing terrifying premonitions of murder after a malicious attack leaves her dangerously vulnerable.

Tonally, Malignant feels like a homecoming for the Australian filmmaker, who for 14 years had been focused on cranking out franchise-ready entertainment that shifted horror’s landscape, though it abandoned the raw intensity that characterized much of his earlier work. Madison’s quest to uncover the secrets of her terrifying visions is a white-knuckled drag through the depths of her sanity, with a third-act twist that reminds us of James Wan’s gift as one of the most prominent (albeit macabre) storytellers of the 21st Century.

NEXT: Halloween Horror Essentials (2020 Edition)

13 Thoughts You Have While Watching "F9"

August 19, 2021 by AJ Mijares in Lists

Before Fast & Furious became the larger-than-life global sensation that it is today, it all started twenty years ago with a tuna sandwich and a truck full of stolen DVD players. Originally pitched as Donnie Brasco meets Days of Thunder, 2001’s The Fast & The Furious was a profoundly influential action movie that set the tone for a new millennium. The premise follows a renegade crew of street racers gridlocked in an undercover police plot — a relatively simple formula with exponential modesty in comparison to the nitrous-fueled stunt show it eventually became.

Twenty years, one spin-off, and an animated series later, viewers are left with one burning question: how do these keep getting made? As the franchise keeps expanding in mainstream recognition, its sprawling vehicular voyages through Tokyo, London, Brazil, Mexico, Dubai, and of course L.A. keep intensifying in both complexity and execution.

With respect to their humble beginnings, they’ve managed to construct an affably self-actualized charm that exists behind the priceless cars, buckets of Corona, and baby-oiled juggernauts bursting out of an Under Armour shirt. Just like Predator and Godzilla, history has shown there’s popular value in mindless muscular spectacle. With the emergence of the franchise’s tenth overall entry, it’s become abundantly clear that these movies are bulletproof to any meaningful review or assessment. Instead, let’s tap into a livestream of moviegoing consciousness while following along to Justin Lin’s explosively fun F9.

Some spoilers ahead

“Can’t believe they gave us Young Toretto.”

The film opens in 1989 at a race track where young Dominic Toretto (Vinnie Bennett) watches in horror as his father Jack (JD Pardo) dies in a fiery collision. For two decades now, Vin Diesel has helped shape the mythology and archetype around this enigmatic series protagonist, especially since the untimely demise of his radiant co-star Paul Walker in 2013.

This prologue helps build character and context but also reveals a new development in the ongoing saga: Dominic apparently has a younger brother named Jakob. This newly revealed information highlights the primary conflict in the movie, as well as establishes the unifying themes of family and fatherhood.

2. “The gang’s all here.”

The returning main cast of Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Jordana Brewster, Nathalie Emmanuel, and Ludacris comprise members of a family so prolific, it gives the Avengers a run for their money. Their collective chemistry produces a fun synergy that helps make the F&F movies so easy to return to every few years.

From Roman and Tej’s (Tyrese and Ludacris) constant bickering to Dom and Letty’s (Michelle Rodriguez) unwavering loyalty, many viewers have developed a deep attachment to these characters and their relationship to one another over the course of ten movies. Though your mileage may vary with that, it’s safe to say this mobile heist crew runs deep and provides exactly what the movie needs to keep its fanbase invested.

3. “No way John Cena could ever pass as a Toretto.”

At first glance, John Cena as Dominic’s estranged brother Jakob doesn’t exactly fulfill Toretto family expectations. Is this largely due to the fact that by now, we still have no clue what ethnicity they’re supposed to be? This ambiguity is acknowledged and quickly dispelled by recurring series antagonist Cipher (Charlize Theron) in her offhanded observation that “the Torettos have quite the mixed bloodlines”.

When it comes to performance, John Cena imbues Jakob Toretto with a gruff but stoic sort of stillness. This quality runs parallel to Vin Diesel’s now-famous portrayal of the philosophically complicated Dominic. Cena’s cartoonishly bulky frame takes up a massive amount of physical space within the movie, undoubtedly a representation for the imposing esteem that orbits the entire Toretto family. Maybe he is fit to wield the iconic crucifix pendant after all.

4. “By this point, any threat they’re facing is completely inconsequential.”

Around Fast Five, the series broke free from its narrative inhibitions and revved up to a whole new level. Since then, each new film introduces a new villain hellbent on carrying out some absurd global terrorist plot, an effort that is inevitably foiled by the forces of family and teamwork.

No one can argue that their conscious shift hasn’t been great for the franchise—they’ve earned $1.16 billion in global revenue since the sixth entry. Though it now lacks the gritty urban practicality of the first two films, director Justin Lin knew they had to adapt with the times, lest it fade into obscurity to become just another generic car movie. When the previous film shows The Rock redirecting a thermonuclear missile with his own bare hands, you should know exactly what you’re signing up for in these movies by now.

5. “Tyrese is MVP material.”

The most explosive blockbuster franchise of all time needs a character that audiences can relate to. Since 2 Fast 2 Furious, no performer has captured this essence like series favorite Roman Pierce, played by Tyrese Gibson. Over the course of 18 years, they’ve reconstructed his entire character to go from the cocky wild card to the lovable everyman who knowingly points out logistic flaws in the movie’s often insane premise.

During one hilariously self-referential moment in F9, Roman’s latest brush with danger makes him question his very existence asking “y’all ever thought about how many wild missions we’ve been on? And yet somehow we always survive?”. His tragically comic self-actualization in this moment is a thinly veiled wink to the audience and those willing to suspend their disbelief for a couple of hours.

6. “Holy sh**! The Tokyo Drift squad is back!”

The oft-forgotten third entry in this high-octane franchise was Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift. The inexplicable 2006 sequel seemed to come out of nowhere and featured no original characters from the first two movies, save for Dominic Toretto’s surprise cameo in the epilogue. It also introduced audiences to Han (Sung Kang), the soft-spoken, snack-crunching globetrotter.

Along with Han, Tokyo Drift’s two main protagonists Sean and Twinkie (Lucas Black and Bow Wow) also make their triumphant return to the franchise in F9. Tej and Roman have the distinct pleasure of catching up with them in Tokyo in the middle of their latest misguided experiment—a Pontiac Fiero modified to fly in outer space. You know where this is going.

7. “These walk-on cameos are getting out of hand.”

Helen Mirren, Ja Rule, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Hart, Ronda Rousey, Iggy Azalea—what does this random gathering of celebrities have in common? They’ve all made an appearance in a Fast & Furious movie at some point in the last two decades. Sometimes they’re racers, flaggers, heavies, syndicate overlords, and in Ryan Reynolds’ case, a Special Forces agent doing a Ryan Reynolds impersonation.

F9 welcomes its latest star into the eclectic mix: Bronx native Cardi B. Sporting full-blown tactical body armor, her surprise appearance as the head of a paramilitary group rescues Dominic and aids his getaway in the back of an Interpol van. For a lovable franchise that has so expertly made fans expect a puzzling cameo or two, this one might be the most absurd; even when counting the perplexing sexual chemistry between Helen Mirren and Vin Diesel.

8. “Dominic Toretto does not abide by any laws of physics.”

To be honest, no one in these movies tends to obey the Newtonian laws of physics; by this point, every member of the crew is pretty much a superhero. The spectacular crashes they’ve endured would have vaporized their bones by now. However, none of them are bigger offenders of this than their fearless leader Dom Toretto. His silhouette is a formidable sight, like a gorilla in a tanktop and Lugz boots. On paper, he should not be aerodynamic.

Despite his dense muscular build, in every movie he’s appeared in since Fast Five, Dom has catapulted off of cars, tanks, trains, airplanes—if it has wheels, Toretto has probably jumped it. Every single time he somehow manages to land safely, often in superhero pose. He’s flown 75 feet through the air and tackled so many people in mid-flight, he might as well play free safety for the Rams. Every great action franchise needs one hero who evokes total invincibility; Dominic Toretto has consistently proven he’ll rise to the occasion.

9. “They should have left Han’s resurrection out of the trailer.”

The marketing for F9 teased the storied arc of Han’s prodigious return. After his apparent death at the hands of Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) in a mid-credit stinger for Fast & Furious 6, it was long speculated he’d return at some point. Similar to Letty’s comeback after her death in the fourth sequel, it’s a running joke that many people who die in the Fast & Furious franchise never permanently stay gone.

While Han’s return is emotionally satisfying from a fan service perspective, it was highly expected by anyone who happened to watch the Super Bowl spot. As an audience member, the emotional weight of that moment is completely undercut by the fact that you know it’s coming.

10. “Magnets.”

Each movie in the multi-billion dollar franchise boasts at least one sequence that was made to leave viewers in dumbfounded euphoria. They’ve dragged a 9,000 lb. bank vault through the streets of Rio De Janiero, flipped a military tank using high-grade tension cables in the Canary Islands, but F9’s pre-eminent set-piece conjures a stunt that might surpass all which have come before it: supercharged magnets.

The stunt’s simplicity is also its fundamental genius, despite how incredulous its logic is. In order to retrieve a weaponized apparatus known as Ares, Jakob’s crew implants hyperactive magnetic devices in their vehicles. When Dom and company come into possession of said vehicles, no enemy is safe as their cars are dragged in, only to be violently hurled aside like a Darth Vader force push. It might not make sense but it’s sure to satisfy those who tune in to see outlandish destruction.

11. “Aaaaand we’re in outer space now.”

In another move that was highly publicized in trailers and marketing material, the Fast & Furious saga finally goes interstellar in F9. In a convoluted effort to destroy a satellite in low orbit, Tej and Roman shoot the rocket car into space and ram it through the hull with some help from their friends over at NOS.

It seems ridiculous that a character who was introduced as a demolition derby driver in Barstow would somehow make his way into outer space. However, based on the scientific reasoning as presented in the franchise, their logic holds up pretty damn well. The moment you see the bright blue surface of Earth reflecting off Roman’s makeshift scuba helmet feels appropriately earned after years of jumping the proverbial shark.

12. “They even resurrected the Orange Supra.”

As Tej so lovingly proclaims in Furious 6, “it’s all between you and the car you build.” You don’t need to be a car fanatic to understand the iconography behind some of the most memorable vehicles they’ve driven since 2001. For a franchise whose roots trace back to a Vibe article about illegal street racing, the cars are embedded into the center of these films. So much so that they’re almost characters in themselves.

The Fast & The Furious showcased a smorgasbord of priceless import tuners, the likes of which inspired a new generation of gearheads and helped create modern car culture as we know it. The most iconic of which: the Buster-mobile: a souped-up, bright orange ‘94 Toyota Supra. Not only was this car stunning (by early millennium standards), but more importantly, it represented the inextricable bond between Dominic and Brian (Paul Walker). Bringing its later model back for F9 felt like a homecoming, both acknowledging its past while looking forward to its bright and ever-evolving future.

13. “Backyard barbecues are the lifeblood of this franchise.”

When the carbon fiber dust settles, the sentimental value is what keeps us coming back for more. For twenty years, the Fast & Furious saga has unfolded like an epic soap opera exploring love, loss, betrayal, and redemption—this is the apex of human drama, but with more destruction.

We’ve come a long way and invested countless affection into these characters, as well as some of the ones we’ve lost along the way. At the risk of buying into the cult of its overblown memefication, this movie really does its best to make audiences feel like family. The film’s endearingly corny epilogue brings us back where we always feel at home: among friends, giving thanks for the ones who always have your back. Also Corona. Corona always has your back.

NEXT | Life Lessons We Can Learn From Movies' Most Prolific Stoners

Life Lessons We Can Learn From Movies' Most Prolific Stoners

April 20, 2021 by AJ Mijares in Lists

In the archive of frequently used character tropes, perhaps none have more unanimous crowd favorite appeal than the movie stoner. They’re generally not known for being the sharpest tools in the shed, but their sheer likeability is unparalleled by anyone they share screen time with.

While often portrayed as aimless floaters, there’s always more than meets the eye; the philosophies they live by speak volumes to the quality of their character. And with North America progressively loosening their grip on recreational marijuana regulations, it begs an earnest reflection on cinema’s misunderstood arbiters of wisdom and the quirky moral codes that they live by.

Own your inner weirdness - Charlie Willoughby

Richard Linklater’s Everybody Wants Some is a spiritual successor to Dazed and Confused that comparatively evokes slice-of-life nostalgia about the people we meet who broaden our lenses—but in college. Of the varying mentalities that are personified, none represent themselves with as much distinction as Charlie Willoughby (Wyatt Russell).

This laid-back California oddball embodies the prototype free-thinker in 1980: expert weed chef, leaning tower of Twilight Zone cassette tapes, avid Pink Floyd listener, naked yoga practitioner. Willoughby’s high-minded originality earns him a spot on Linklater’s Mount Rushmore, his eternal words leave us with a warm reminder to “embrace your inner f**kin’ strange, man!”.

Aspire for more than they think you’re capable of - Silas P. Silas

They say success is the best revenge; How High features rap icons Method Man and Redman as Silas and Jamal, two underachieving stoners who face off with a dastardly Harvard Dean after miraculously getting perfect scores on their standardized tests.

Sure, Silas may be a pothead but throughout the film he proves to be an innovative thinker with an entrepreneurial spirit. Despite the adversity of a malicious dean plotting his downfall, he’s a phenomenal weed grower committed to the discovery of scientific breakthroughs in irregular planting methods. In fact, he probably belongs on the ‘movies best botanist’ list behind Mark Watney in The Martian.

Everybody needs one good friend - Saul Silver

James Franco brings life to a gregarious, bandana sporting weed dealer in Pineapple Express, an action comedy about two fumbling potheads on the run from a sadistic drug lord and his army of goons. Along with fellow pothead Dale (Seth Rogen), Saul is ensnared in an odyssey of hijinks that will test the bonds of their unity.

Though Dale initially rebuffs Saul’s affection, in the face of imminent danger, Saul’s unconditional loyalty helps Dale realize the value of trustworthy companionship. If life is an ongoing series of cross joints, Saul’s prescient wisdom teaches us never to smoke it alone.

Always be two steps ahead - Cheech & Chong

1978 was the dawn of a bold new era of comedy, one that reflected a counterculture zeitgeist that would pave the way for generations to come. Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke created the very formula for the stoner canon we still celebrate to this day, a wayfaring hang out with loose morals and guilt-free levity.

The film follows two clueless potheads evading police on a road trip from Mexico to L.A. in a van made entirely of hardened ganja. Whether it’s legitimate strategy or sheer dumb luck, our two unlikely heroes manage to elude capture by employing stoned creativity to stay out of reach of the dastardly Sgt. Stedenko (Stacy Keach). Happy accidents? Sure. But finding fortune ass-backwards is still a fortune, all the same.

It’s okay to be reasonably skeptical - Marty Mikalski

Sometimes the truth is far more malevolent than it appears. When five college friends embark on a secluded cabin trip, they learn this lesson the hard way in Drew Goddard’s horror comedy The Cabin in the Woods, a meta-bloodfest that dismantles the tropes by which horror movies function.

Among the afflicted is Marty (Fran Kranz), a dumb but lovable stoner whose erratic paranoia becomes a guiding voice of reason. His forward thinking transforms him into an avatar through which audiences can relate to in a horror setting. And despite his futile attempts to stop his friends from summoning vengeful spirits, his deceptively keen survival instincts prove spot-on.

If you fail, be brave enough to start over - Kunu the Surfing Instructor

Nicholas Stoller’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a generational breakup comedy that’s not shy about making statements. The only thing more boldfaced than a wide shot of Jason Segel’s manhood was how deeply we connected with the various walk-on characters throughout the movie.

In an attempt at spontaneity to overcome his breakup blues, Peter (Jason Segel) enlists the help of resident surf instructor Kunu (Paul Rudd), a 40-something glass eyed optimist who lives in his own little slice of nirvana. Empathetic to Peter’s grievances, he imparts some grade-A stoner wisdom that proudly reverberates through meme culture today: “when life gives you lemons, just say f**k the lemons and bail”.

Be relentless in your pursuits, no matter the cost - Doc Sportello

Paul Thomas Anderson’s Inherent Vice is a gonzo descent into abject hilarity that follows pothead detective Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix) through a convoluted web of deceit to solve the case of his missing ex-girlfriend.

The film’s protagonist is a pastiche of Chinatown’s Jake Gittes if he got lost at a Grateful Dead concert. He’s a nosy, outspoken, fedora-sporting sleuth with strong instincts and an even stronger appetite for truth. These inquisitive munchies lead him through seedy, psychedelic rabbit holes but through it all, he never loses sight of the endgame and ultimately, the lines of demarcation between right and wrong.

If you want it, give it your best shot - Dukes

Semi Pro is a raucous sports comedy about a struggling basketball team in 1976. When star player/team owner Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell) devises an attempt to cultivate viewership, he summons Dukes (Jackie Earle Haley), a fortunate hippie for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sink a full-court shot for the grand prize of $10,000.

Though he appears to be in a deep cannabis stupor, he miraculously makes the shot. The crowd goes nuts, he prances the court in triumph as Jackie Moon watches in disbelief--he can’t actually afford to pay him his prize money. Nevertheless, full-court shots are phenomena in themselves and for an unkempt hippie like Dukes to pull one off with all the marbles on the line, he’s an unexpected advocate for the importance of putting your best foot forward. Dramatic turn for the actor who once played Rorschach.

Live a life you genuinely enjoy - Jeff Spicoli

Face it, you knew this one was coming. Ridgemont High’s resident airhead, whom one student describes as being “stoned since the third grade” is the bar-none benchmark by which all other movie stoners have been measured for the last four decades. He fits every archetypal category one could ever ask for and in his own way, embodies every single trait we’ve discussed so far.

Amy Heckerling’s Fast Times at Ridgemont High was the first landmark high school film to explore weighty topics many teens actually go through: hormonal eruption, sexual inadequacy, unplanned pregnancy. Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) however, is the proud outlier. His sandy blonde hair and flowy mannerisms represented a transcendence of teenage despair, the rejection of a life lived on anyone else’s terms but his own. He might’ve been stoned since the third grade, but Spicolli’s absent-minded inspiration will forever remain inarguable. And don’t even get me started on his impact on Vans sales.

The Christmas Movie B-Team (2020 Edition)

December 25, 2020 by AJ Mijares in Lists

In the greater movie macrocosm, I can’t think of a single subgenre more beloved, more passed down, more celebrated over time than the Christmas movie. Year after year, millions have gathered in joyous communion to take part in this cultural pastime that has set festive vibes since TV first became widely available. Besides creeping your kids out with the strange little man you put on a shelf, watching Christmas movies has been one of the most time-honored annual traditions, upheld by countless families worldwide.

HBO cord-cutters weep in festive unison at the thought of missing out on Chris Pine in a Members Only jacket.

To put things into perspective: since 1997, Turner Broadcasting Network has aired A Christmas Story on repeat for 24 straight hours on Christmas day. Over this two-and-a-half decade span, they accumulated viewership averaging around 40 million households per year. With metrics like that, you’d think this delightful tradition seems everlasting but in a frightful turn of events, this year stripped that possibility from all of us. While we cope with this radical change, many of us are left with no choice but to find ways to celebrate alone. And if the stranger whose HBO Max account you’ve been mooching on these past two months finally decided to change their password, the Wonder Woman 1984 premiere is officially out of the question. So…what now?

Well, in the spirit of optimism, watching Christmas movies alone can still be a lot of fun—if anything, no one’ll be around to judge you for that ninth Hot Toddy you just drank. But if watching those cherished Christmas classics doesn’t quite feel right, consider trying something new and approaching it from a curator’s standpoint; subgenre movies have an appeal that is best explored when we reconfigure our notions of what they typically look like. And of all the obscure subgenres out there, few have generated a cult-like following like unconventional Christmas movies have; it’s become somewhat trendy to spot out Christmas movies that some might have to think twice about. While Die Hard is commonly referred to as the king of lowkey Christmas movies, there are far more out there that expand the scope of the many ways we can celebrate the moviegoing experience this holiday season. So put on a snuggie, pour yourself another Hot Toddy like the filthy animal you are, and join me in taking a festive holiday dive into the wider Christmas canon.

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) - dir. Renny Harlin

Plot Synopsis: A suburban mom’s life goes off the rails when she begins having amnesiac flashbacks of her past life as a deadly CIA operative. When a private investigator uncovers a villainous plot for her former employers to re-stake their claim by any means necessary, they find themselves trapped in a desperate fight for their lives.

Why It Belongs: Renny Harlin and writer Shane Black’s forgotten classic is as underrated an action movie as they come. Despite being lost in the fray of the 90’s action renaissance, The Long Kiss Goodnight is everything you could ask for in a Christmas/action hybrid: ice skates, machine guns, dysfunctional family affairs, people plummeting into exploding gas trucks—y’know, the usual.

Santa Sam puts a big fat F-bomb in your stocking this Christmas.

Renny Harlin, best known for his seminal works Cliffhanger and Deep Blue Sea, is a director who has mastered the formula for a particular brand of action movie that requires precisely zero brain cell function. Being grounded in this base of mindless movie anti-logic allows for a considerable amount of freedoms: it appeals to a wider range of casual moviegoers who just want to see bullets fly, where the reloading is virtually nonexistent and the line readings strike a perfect balance between corny and cool. Speaking of which, Samuel L. Jackson brings his trademark foul-mouthed fury as P.I. Mitch Hennessy, which might be the single greatest action movie name of all time. Jackson brings an irresistible energy to the role reminiscent of Jules from Pulp Fiction if he finally found his niche on the right side of the law. At its core, this movie actually owes a lot to Tarantino—from the quippy dialogue to the offbeat chemistry and a literal Mexican standoff, viewers can clearly see the resemblance to the style of 90’s filmmaking that inspired it.

If Die Hard is the crown jewel of the Christmas/action hybrid, The Long Kiss Goodnight is a diamond in the rough. It’s affectionately flawed, though executed with maximum effort so it keeps your attention when it needs to. The ideal Christmas movie should establish a vibe, create an ambience that viewers can make a routine out of coming back to. This movie, much like Die Hard, is propped up on the strength of its set pieces and quippy action movie-isms. It doesn’t demand complete attention, it doesn’t request expenditure, you can zone out blamelessly and peer back to the screen at the moments that catch your eye. This self-aware, alternate take on subgenre fusion is dripping in outlandish pulpy flair that might just surprise you as to how far it slipped from the radar of popular knowledge.

When Santa Comes to Town

Rare Exports (2010) - dir. Jalmari Helander

Plot Synopsis: When a team of researchers in a remote mountain village excavate a mythological deity buried under depths of snow, a local boy and a band of locals must stop the unimaginable evil that comes lurking in search of it: a demonic envisioning of Santa Claus—and this year, everyone’s on his naughty list.

Why It Belongs: So I admit, I didn’t do the film any favors by describing it like one of those terrible movies you’d find in the back of a local video store. No, not those videos. But on paper, Rare Exports sounds outlandish. Strangely enough, that’s also its greatest strength; though it certainly treads into grindhouse territory, the film is compelling, original, and pulled off with total dedication to the world it’s built. If you don’t want to take my word for it, its Rotten Tomatoes score would like to chime in, for whatever that’s worth.

Rare Exports might be built on a gimmick but its true feat is how easily it transcends that gimmick—sure it’s about evil Santa Claus but as you can probably imagine, it’s not the one you’d expect. The film builds depth by establishing a rich mythology, a surprisingly layered narrative that’s written with succinct clarity that serves as an allegory for corporate greed. Its world is populated with a likeable cast of characters that feel fleshed out; their motivations are clearly presented, but they never outshine the ideas we’re given to play with. In terms of sheer enjoyment, this film is an absolute blast to watch from beginning to end and much like its more recognized contemporaries Krampus and Gremlins, it morphs genre by playing with conventions most commonly assigned to horror, adventure and Christmas movies all at once.

The revisionist Santa second place ribbon goes to..

This Finnish production was directed by Jalmari Helander, a filmmaker and country that are overwhelmingly underrepresented in mainstream conversation. Rare Exports was crafted to evoke scale, it transports viewers to a snowcapped Scandinavian vista and traps you in it. Much like John Carpenter’s The Thing, the cold isolation of our setting creates dreadful unease but instead of smashing the pedal, it reels you back in with enough whimsey and intentional humor to keep viewers cheerfully engaged and eager to return to it—an essential hallmark of the Christmas movie. This begs the question: despite its grindhouse status, is Rare Exports a future classic?

The Naughty and Nice

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) - dir. Shane Black

Plot Synopsis: A stroke of dumb luck lands a petty crook the lead role in a detective movie, but his mandated training with a bumbling Private Eye proves to be more than he bargained for. When he finds himself caught in the middle of a seedy murder plot, he’s whisked from the dark alleyways of Downtown L.A. to the sun baked hills of Hollywood in a frantic scurry to solve a case he’s comically unqualified for.

Why It Belongs: Because Shane Black’s stylish envisioning of a neo-noir is everything you could ask for in a Los Angeles detective movie with a modern touch. And yes, it also happens to take place during Christmas—a frequent signature of Shane Black’s directorial style. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang boasts an exceedingly witty script and a peerless cast who run amok in the concrete jungles of L.A. getting into all kinds of trouble. It’s darkly humorous, outwardly self aware and incredibly fun to re-watch, if anything to commiserate on the lighthearted fun it pokes at the self-serving emptiness of vapid L.A. culture.

This film catches lightning in a bottle with its cast; Robert Downey Jr. makes his triumphant return to godlike form as the bumbling smartass Harry Lockhart. The role proved so iconic, it famously won him the role as Tony Stark in Iron Man just three years later. His counterpart Michelle Monaghan plays off Downey’s neuroses with an equal measure of eccentricity and likeable charm. Throw in Val Kilmer as the catty private eye whose unsavory snark teeters between blunt and bitter, creating hilarious frictions between the trio. Their zany, dysfunctional interplay is in stark contrast to the cool, hardboiled noir detectives we knew from films like Chinatown and The Big Sleep.

A common trait of film noir is its signature pacing: known for being calculatedly slow, their simmering stories unfold in segments, with each new bit of information forwarding the plot until the revelation reveals itself. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang hastens the pacing with lighthearted humor and self-aware silliness. Though it never treads into parody levels of lampooning, Shane Black crafted a deeply lovable detective movie that feels more like an homage than a flat out farce. Armed with wit, personality, style and charisma, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is one of the greatest unsung entries to the extended Christmas universe and I’ve no doubt in my mind that in time, it’s bound to be recognized as such.

Gather Round the Fire

The Lodge (2019) - dir. Veronika Franz & Severin Fiala

Plot Synopsis: A Christmas vacation takes a dreadful turn when two siblings, still reeling from the suicide of their mother, shack up with their dad’s new girlfriend in a remote winter cabin. Strange and chilling events begin to unfold and the trio must confront a long-suppressed darkness that’s clawing its way to the surface.

Why It Belongs: To say 2020 has been a downer year is an understatement, but for sickos like me, sometimes existential terror is exactly the kind of vibe we want to immerse ourselves in. This movie is despicable, vile and shockingly effective, while also totally qualifying as a Christmas movie. As a matter of fact, you might be hard pressed to find a more twisted Christmas movie than The Lodge, but for fans of the modern horror renaissance, it checks every box that genre heads salivate for: mortality, family crisis, inconsolable loss and last but definitely not least, a fascination with the occult.

Without spoiling anything—because the plot does twist in some pretty wild directions—The Lodge is a solid Christmas candidate for the drafting class of 2020 because, while it doesn’t have the joviality of Happiest Season or the whimsey of Jack Frost, its ominous tone grants catharsis to viewers who intrinsically feel a little more grim about holiday spirit this year. While I understand that many look for the lighthearted movies to distract them from problems of the real world, in art that builds a world of bleak hopelessness, many viewers might strangely find solace to know “things might suck but at least my Christmas will never be that bad”.

The movie is directed by Austrian filmmaking duo Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala. Though they’re relative newcomers only having directed one feature film prior to The Lodge, their art clearly indicates that their instinctive chops are natural. Their latest entry is meticulously constructed with an artisan’s touch, building strong atmospheric tension with slow burn pacing, but delivers a fiery payoff that’ll leave a massive hungover for hours after the film reaches its conclusion. The plot rests on the backs of a minimal but talented cast led by Jaeden Martell, Lia McHugh and indie darling Riley Keough as the enigmatic Grace. The film is a soulless plunge into the human experience and seeks to explore the destructive ways in which we choose to process grief. To describe the film in comparisons: think The Shining meets Yours, Mine and Ours with a touch of Hereditary—the unholiest of unholy trifectas, because sometimes the only thing scarier than axe murderers or cult worshippers are step families.

Making Spirits Fight

Rocky IV (1985) - dir. Sylvester Stallone

Plot Synopsis: When a terrible tragedy befalls a legend of the ring, the Italian Stallion must put it all on the line against his toughest opponent yet—the formidable Ivan Drago in the icy tundras of Soviet Russia.

Why It Belongs: Because the only thing scarier than a pandemic is the imminent threat of nuclear destruction; at the height of Cold War panic, Rocky Balboa brought home a gift that can’t be quantified with any price tag—he pummeled intolerance and fought his way to diplomacy between the U.S. and the USSR. Our country owes him this eternal debt of gratitude: for Rocky IV to forever be memorialized as a definitive lowkey Christmas movie. When you boil it down to the framework, you’ll find that this vascular specimen of cinematic entertainment features touchstones of any great Christmas movie: family values, tragic human flaw, a musical number, introspection on the error of our ways, but most importantly, a robot servant wearing a Santa hat. It’s basically a fireside Yuletide fable with baby-oiled biceps.

Universally recognized for its fan friendly spectacle and high-octane energy, the fourth in the franchise is a crowning achievement of not just the series, but the sports movie genre as a whole. The fight scenes are choreographed with reckless abandon for any notion of boxing defense, instead we find ourselves just trying to comprehend the seismic power these greased up titans possess. In the hearts of many, the franchise’s epic revival in 2015’s Creed still plays second banana to Rocky IV’s mindlessly enjoyable yet painfully 80’s individuality. From the cheesy montage sequences to the cool synthesizer score, it somehow manages to achieve timelessness while simultaneously serving as a snapshot of an excessive time in American history when a man’s worth was measured by the amount of full-grown men he could pull on a sled through the snow.

Stallone took quarantine beard to a whole new level way before it was cool.

While Rocky IV isn’t unanimously known as a conventional Christmas movie, by approaching its premise with an open mind, you’ll find that its heart pumps with more than just illegal substances…but of holiday morality. Not only does the film’s epic showdown between Rocky Balboa and fearsome Ivan Drago take place during Christmas, but its anti-war sentimentality boils down to a simple yet resonating value that we can all relate to and reflect on: no force on earth can match for the weight of unity. Casting aside differences has been a massive point of contention this year but to unify for the sake of giving thanks is a core tenet of such timeless classics as How the Grinch Stole Christmas and even Home Alone, thematically. The immortal, marble-mouthed teachings of Balboa rings true all these 35 years later, “If I can change and you can change, everybody can change”. *cues James Brown*

Lighting the Tree

Friday After Next (2002) - dir. Marcus Raboy

Plot Synopsis: For fear of being evicted, underachieving cousins Craig and Day-Day must hatch a scheme to make back their rent money that was stolen by a burglar in a Santa suit.

Why It Belongs: With so much bad news to digest on a daily basis, sometimes a stoner Christmas movie is exactly the kind of altitude you feel like cruising at. Unanimously recognized as the forgotten Friday movie in Ice Cube’s iconic trilogy, After Next is not remembered for its achievements, but its memorable characters. With no shortage of outrageous supporting performances from the always funny John Witherspoon as wide-eyed Willie Jones, and Terry Crews in his breakout role as hulking behemoth Damon, this film harkens back to a simpler time when our biggest issues revolved around “which velour tracksuit should I wear today?”.

Though it lacks moral substance, Friday After Next is carelessly fun and terrifically quotable. Some films are remembered exclusively for being a good time and as I’ve explored in previous posts: there are almost always redemptive qualities to be found in objectively bad art. The film’s humor is vulgar and seems quite aged, though its appeal is rather charmingly dated, like it’s preserved in the amber of early 2000’s sensibility when hip-hop culture was still finding its way into the mainstream popularity—it dictated the way we talked, the way we walked, the way we dressed, the jokes we found hysterical. While Friday remains the catalyst for when that cultural moment became consummated, After Next was the overlooked carbon copy—undoubtedly flawed, though it retained a glimmer of its predecessor’s timely allure.

When a movie lacks in depth, you can sometimes look for its charm to take the lead. What Friday After Next is missing in substance, it more than makes up for in its raucous stable of kooky but lovable characters; Ice Cube and Mike Epps, at the height of their moment, reprise their roles from Next Friday as dysfunctional slackers with displaced stoner ambition. The late, great John Witherspoon as wide-eyed Willie Jones, always chewing up the scenery with his uniquely spastic intensity, Katt Williams during his moment of cultural relevance as a painfully dated pimp with a chip on his shoulder, but the biggest break sprung from Terry Crews in his breakout role as the hulking behemoth Damon. Where largely he was known for being the big, scary dude sort of just lingering in the background of movies like Training Day, this film lets him flex his muscles a little more candidly—quite literally so. The film’s lack of general direction is somehow a trait of its charm, because it gives these actors free reign to test the limits of their comedic chops. Sometimes, that’s the defining essence of the perfect movie you can curl up and maybe light your Christmas tree to.

Halloween Horror Essentials (2020 Edition)

October 30, 2020 by AJ Mijares in Lists

Grab your hockey masks and plastic machetes, Halloween is upon us once more. This season has always held a special place in my heart; being a child of October, I’ve always shared a special kinship with it. When I think of Halloween, I think of covering my eyes—I would cover my eyes when Michael Jackson transformed into a monster at the end of those Thriller reruns on MTV and I would cover my eyes as Freddie Krueger eviscerated Johnny Depp through the mattress in A Nightmare on Elm Street as it ran on AMC. I lived shamelessly as a coward for the first third of my life.

But the older I got, the more I learned to embrace the horror genre and relish in the thrill of its entertainment value. I desensitized myself to the nightmares I’d get by convincing myself that it was just a movie; the terrible things that I would see onscreen could never conceivably come true in real life, could it? Well, here we are in 2020 and let’s face it, Wes Craven himself couldn’t possibly dream up a scenario more existentially terrifying than the cursed year we’ve all been living through: civil injustice, brush fires, pandemics, raging storms, and Doolittle among the atrocities.

So maybe I’m being a little harsh and sure, maybe I don’t have any real right to complain given the ultimate scope of our collective struggle. But what’s Halloween without the trick-or-treaters? What does this holiday even mean if I can’t walk through the cobwebbed halls of a haunted house? This year, instead of trick-or-treaters, we’ve traded in for contact tracers. Instead of haunted houses we have…haunted car washes? Actually, those are pretty cool. But at the end of the day, we’ve been left no choice but to move on with the complete understanding that this Halloween just isn’t quite like the rest of them. The one silver lining? No crisis on Earth can deny us the right to settle safely at home and put on a good scary movie. In the spirit of upholding that tradition, I’ve compiled my own personal SLAYlist of Halloween favorites that captures the myriad flavors of what October really means to me.

Something Spooky

The Others (2001) - Directed by Alejandro Amenábar

Plot Summary: In post-WWII England, supernatural occurrences begin plaguing a mother and her two children upon the arrival of three mysterious caretakers who claim to have lived in the house many years ago.

Why it Belongs: This psychological mind-bender is an overlooked gem of the early millenia that is sure to set a haunting tone this Halloween season. With the rise of Shyamalan-ian horror, The Others made a splash upon arrival, but quickly faded to an echo in the years that followed. Among fans and critics alike, this film is remembered for its refined period-piece authenticity, its amazing cast led by Nicole Kidman, and its bone-chilling set pieces that became a benchmark of early 2000’s pop culture. Though almost two decades have passed, this film still retains an ageless quality, delivers genuinely scary frights with refined poise and creepy gothic sensibilities that horror fans really gravitate to. All in all, it’s an ambient horror tale with an engrossing story and a twist ending that is sure to rattle your cage and start your binge off right.

Where to Find It: Available for rent on Vudu and Amazon

Something Campy

The Cabin in the Woods (2011) - Directed by Drew Goddard

Plot Summary: Five college friends embark on the trip of a lifetime to a secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere, only to find that an ancient evil has been lying for them in wait.

Why it Belongs: This horror-comedy is the undisputed middleweight champion of genre sensibilities; it has supreme self-awareness, it’s sufficiently frightening, it’s thematically centered around youth culture, and it throws a wicked curve ball. Camp horror is traditionally characterized by its deliberate divergence from high art; much like punk rock counterculture, this movement steamrolls convention rather than conforming to it. The Cabin in the Woods is a fun deconstructive study in why horror tropes exist, giving insight into the lasting popular appeal behind classics like Evil Dead and Friday the 13th. Featuring some of the most unforgettable set pieces of the past century, this film is sure to entertain all fans of even the most moderate spectrums of horror.

Where to Find It: Now streaming on Hulu and Amazon Prime

Something Foreign

Noroi: The Curse (2005) - Directed by Kōji Shiraishi

Plot Summary: A paranormal researcher gets more than he bargained for when he investigates a disturbance regarding a demonic entity from Japanese folklore.

Why it Belongs: For fans of slow burn horror, this found footage/mockumentary hybrid is a master class in pacing. Told in a stitched-together narrative style that combines camcorder footage with news broadcasts, what begins as an investigation sputters into a shocking dive into the twisted world of Japanese demonology. Noroi delivers an exceptional payoff for all those receptive to its cadence; rich in haunting imagery that is sure to stay with you at inconvenient sleeping hours, this Japanese horror gem is the essence of nightmare fuel.

Where to Find It: Now streaming on Shudder

Something Cosmic

Event Horizon (1997) - Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

Plot Summary: A rescue fleet is sent to investigate the distress signal of a rogue ship that had been lost in the cosmos for years, only to find that the dimensions it came from sent something home with it.

Why it Belongs: Widely known for the massive cult following it has gained in the 23 years since release, Anderson’s blood curdling film balances sci-fi elements with Lovecraftian cosmic horror that genre fans still recognize as one of the scariest movies of all time. With a cast led by Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill, Event Horizon hurls audiences through unknown galactic dimensions to the depths of Hell and back, refusing to loosen its grip for one second until the very end. This movie is cool, shocking, chaotic, depraved, and one hell of a thrill ride.

Where to Find It: Now streaming on Amazon Prime (with ads)

Something Strange

The Lighthouse (2019) - Directed by Robert Eggers

Plot Summary: Cold and stranded on a remote island in the late 1800’s, a pair of lighthouse keepers undergo a slow, surreal descent into complete madness.

Why it Belongs: This black-and-white psychological horror is one of the most mystifying movie experiences of the last decade with full credit to its visionary writer/director, Robert Eggers. Hot on the heels of his indelible debut in 2015’s The Witch, Eggers has proven himself a filmmaker with an acute sense for building tension and atmosphere through sheer force of authenticity. In every shot, you can feel the cold, grey solitude on the secluded rock that our protagonists endure. Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson deliver career-defining performances as a pair of lighthouse keepers who think, speak, and feel like they’re crafted with complete historical precision. Their drunken plunge into obscurity is set to a malevolent score by Mark Korven that perfectly establishes the moody tone and serves as a harbinger for what grim fate awaits. All hope abandon ye who enter this film.

Where to Find It: Now streaming on Amazon Prime

Something Lovely

Spring (2014) - Directed by Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead

Plot Summary: Reeling from the death of his mother, Evan embarks on a European vacation where he meets a beautiful young woman with an ominous little secret.

Why it Belongs: For the past eight years, indie darlings Benson & Moorhead have quietly been making some of the decade’s best and most unique horror films. Their collective artistic vision is undeniably original, leveraging the hardships of a modern human experience and marrying it with unspeakable horrors of the unknown. This heartfelt horror-drama follows a broken young man on his search for substance, and inevitably finds it in a fearsome creature he doesn’t quite understand. It’s got some really impressive effects and some very well made set pieces but what really consumes you is the realism of their relationship. Through their unfolding interactions, we ask ourselves what it means to unconditionally accept, despite imperfections. This is the true innovation of Spring—it ultimately reframes the way we define being human.

Where to Find It: Now streaming on Shudder

Something Awful

Thirteen Ghosts (2001) - Directed by Steve Beck

Plot Summary: A late business magnate bestows a labyrinthian glass house to his only living relatives, only for them to realize that it houses thirteen vengeful spirits…and they’re all hungry for blood.

Why it Belongs: If the horror Olympics existed and I could give a participation medal to any one movie, it’d be this by a landslide. This movie was decimated by critics and truth be told, it’s not that hard to figure out why: it’s obnoxious, cruel, poorly edited and pretty damn corny. But you can feel a worthy effort to make it something better than it turned out to be. From a set design standpoint, the architecture of the glass house is genuinely intriguing as it shifts, unleashing a new spirit into its corridors one by one. These spirits look hideous and though their origins are only implied in the movie, a special feature establishes a full-blown mythological backstory for each one. There’s always some redemption in bad art and for the purposes of this movie, I can’t help but imagine that in some alternate world in a different director’s hands, we got a version of Thirteen Ghosts that became an instant classic.

Where to Find It: Available for rent on Vudu and Amazon

Something Retro

The Thing (1982) - Directed by John Carpenter

Plot Summary: When a parasitic alien creature infiltrates a research team on a secluded base in Antarctica, they turn against one another in a desperate fight for survival.

Why it Belongs: With everything going on in the world, there may not be a movie that more accurately captures our underlying paranoia than Carpenter’s timeless masterpiece, The Thing. Binding relentless intensity with grotesque creature effects, this film takes alien horror to new heights. What makes this film so effective is that it’s essentially a whodunit where the traitor turns out to be a freakish alien symbiote. Viewers are thrust among the unstable crew of a research base in the heart of the tundra and Carpenter grips you with unspeakable terror in knowing that at any moment, the person next to you can turn. When stranded and left to our own devices, human instinct will rise; it’s not about the alien organism who invades human hosts or even the monstrosity it turns them into, it’s about what people are inherently prepared to do in times of desperation.

Where to Find It: Available for rent on Vudu and Amazon

Hit:Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinnochio

Miss:Angus MacLane’s Lightyear

Hit:Claire Denis’ Stars At Noon

Miss:Olivia Wilde’s Don’t Worry Darling

Hit:Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

Miss:Sam Raimi’s Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness

Hit:Martin McDonagh’s The Banshees Of Inisherin

Miss:Robert Eggers’ The Northman

Hit:David Cronenberg’s Crimes Of The Future

Miss:Alex Garland’s Men

Hit:James Cameron’s Avatar: The Way Of Water

Miss:Joe and Anthony Russo’s The Gray Man

Hit:Todd Field’s TÁR

Miss:Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans

Michael Rianda | The AV Club

“The medium itself may have an appeal to kids, but I think the medium is way too powerful for that. And I think that more often you should be trying to appeal to the child in everyone and get to that feeling of wonder and excitement that you have when you’re a child.”

Brad Bird | Entertainment Weekly

10. High Fidelity (2000) - dir. Stephen Frears

Available for rent on Amazon Prime

9. About Time (2013) - dir. Richard Curtis

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

8. The Wedding Singer (1998) - dir. Frank Coraci

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

7. Hitch (2005) - dir. Andy Tennant

Available for instant streaming on Hulu and Peacock

6. Singin’ In The Rain (1952) - dir. Gene Kelly and Stanley Donen

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

5. When Harry Met Sally (1989) - dir. Rob Reiner

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

4. There’s Something About Mary (1998) - dir. The Farrelly Brothers

Available for rent on Amazon Prime and Vudu

3. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) - dir. Gil Junger

Available for instant streaming on Disney Plus

2. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - dir. Edgar Wright

Available for rent on Amazon Prime or Vudu

1. The Princess Bride (1987) - dir. Rob Reiner

Available for instant streaming on Disney Plus

Some spoilers ahead

10. Godzilla vs. Kong - dir. Adam Wingard

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

9. No Sudden Move - dir. Steven Soderbergh

Available for instant streaming on HBO Max

8. Inside - dir. Bo Burnham

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

7. Don’t Look Up - dir. Adam McKay

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

6. Titane - dir. Julia Ducournau

Available for rent on Vudu

5. The Harder They Fall - dir. Jeymes Samuel

Available for instant streaming on Netflix

4. West Side Story - dir. Steven Spielberg

Now in theaters nationwide

3. The Green Knight - dir. David Lowery

Available for rent on Vudu, Prime Video, or Apple TV

2. Dune - dir. Denis Villeneuve

Available for rent on Vudu, Prime Video, or Apple TV

1. Pig - dir. Michael Sarnoski

Available for instant streaming on Hulu

Writer’s Note: Many notable films have been left off this list. For convenience, I only included the horror movies that Wan directed.

If you spring awake to find yourself chained to a pipe, look out for yourself before helping others - Saw (2004)

2. If investigating a murder case where a ventriloquist dummy is your suspect, quit your job and find a new calling - Dead Silence (2007)

3. If a family member starts astral traveling to a ghost dimension, disown them - Insidious (2011)

4. If your dog dies within one day of moving into a new house, burn it to the ground - The Conjuring (2014)

5. If you start astral traveling and become possessed, you clearly didn’t follow the third rule - Insidious: Chapter 2 (2015)

6. Inverted crucifix means “not welcome here” - The Conjuring 2 (2018)

7. Gruesome visions of murder after suffering head trauma? Skip the neurologist, see a priest - Malignant (2021)

Some spoilers ahead

“Can’t believe they gave us Young Toretto.”

2. “The gang’s all here.”

3. “No way John Cena could ever pass as a Toretto.”

4. “By this point, any threat they’re facing is completely inconsequential.”

5. “Tyrese is MVP material.”

6. “Holy sh**! The Tokyo Drift squad is back!”

7. “These walk-on cameos are getting out of hand.”

8. “Dominic Toretto does not abide by any laws of physics.”

9. “They should have left Han’s resurrection out of the trailer.”

10. “Magnets.”

11. “Aaaaand we’re in outer space now.”

12. “They even resurrected the Orange Supra.”

13. “Backyard barbecues are the lifeblood of this franchise.”

Hit:
Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinnochio

Miss:
Angus MacLane’s Lightyear

Hit:
Claire Denis’ Stars At Noon

Miss:
Olivia Wilde’s Don’t Worry Darling

Hit:
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

Miss:
Sam Raimi’s Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness

Hit:
Martin McDonagh’s The Banshees Of Inisherin

Miss:
Robert Eggers’ The Northman

Hit:
David Cronenberg’s Crimes Of The Future

Miss:
Alex Garland’s Men

Hit:
James Cameron’s Avatar: The Way Of Water

Miss:
Joe and Anthony Russo’s The Gray Man

Hit:
Todd Field’s TÁR

Miss:
Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans

**10. High Fidelity (2000) - dir. Stephen Frears**

**9. About Time (2013) - dir. Richard Curtis**

**8. The Wedding Singer (1998) - dir. Frank Coraci**

**7. Hitch (2005) - dir. Andy Tennant**

**6. Singin’ In The Rain (1952) - dir. Gene Kelly and Stanley Donen**

**5. When Harry Met Sally (1989) - dir. Rob Reiner**

**4. There’s Something About Mary (1998) - dir. The Farrelly Brothers**

**3. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) - dir. Gil Junger**

**2. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - dir. Edgar Wright**

**1. The Princess Bride (1987) - dir. Rob Reiner**