12 Thoughts You Have While Watching 'Eternals'
Earlier this month, Marvel Studios released Eternals on Disney Plus. Chloe Zhao’s action fantasy chronicles the eon-spanning voyage of the eponymous Eternals, a band of immortal warriors who are thrust out of hiding to confront an ancient darkness. This globetrotting superhero epic ranked sixth in domestic returns for all of last year but as we’ve discussed, 2021 was an atypical year for box office performance.
Under the continued supervision of studio tri-heads Kevin Feige, Louis D’Esposito, and Victoria Alonso, Marvel Studios released 4 features last year with Eternals falling dead last, taking in just $165 million in stateside revenue. Those results may sound lofty but the truth is, that’s the second-worst performance for a movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, trailed only by Louis Leterrier’s The Incredible Hulk (2008).
Rotten Tomatoes
Notwithstanding the unquestionable impact of COVID-19, Eternals fell short of the mark financially as well as critically, with a word-of-mouth reputation that could best be described as ‘aggressively mediocre’. The film currently boasts a 48% rotten score but to its credit, it’s hard to sell a celestial origin story sandwiched between Phase Four juggernauts Shang Chi and Spider-Man: No Way Home. In spite of that notion, Marvel’s continued ambition encourages fans to keep up with the latest on the developing mythology—or risk falling behind on the zeitgeist.
Bearing all this in mind, I came into the Eternals streaming experience with an appropriate dissolution of expectations. As the MCU marches into its 14th year, longtime viewers can recognize that even lower-tier entries have their own unique merits. Upon viewing, it becomes clear that while Kumail Nanjiani’s granite jawline can’t single-handedly keep the film in continuous motion, that doesn’t change the fact that Eternals is one of the ballsiest undertakings in franchise history; though it’s riddled with outrageous faults, you can’t help but respect its relentless audacity. Instead of trying to extract any meaningful analysis, let’s have some fun and tap into the inner stream of thought while watching along to Marvel’s Eternals.
Some spoilers ahead
1. “An expository text crawl…what could go wrong?”
As we come to find out, Eternals is a movie with blatant disregard for the cardinal rules of storytelling. Rather than opening with the iconic Marvel Studios production intro, it starts off with a cold open, a bootleg Star Wars-ian info dump unpacking lightyears of exposition in a recap of the origins of life. To establish lore by breaking the accepted rule of “show, don’t tell” might seem clunky, though when put into perspective, doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
By this point in the MCU, we’ve seen Norse demigods, interdimensional time travel, sentient AI, and Mark Ruffalo in a Duran Duran t-shirt. As bulky as the exposition dump may seem, the MCU’s increasingly complex direction requires lore that is high-concept. Though it is somewhat clunky and formulaic, it’s more of a necessary evil at this point in the story.
2. “The landscape cinematography is better than it deserves to be.”
One of the biggest upsides of Eternals is the vision of its acclaimed director Chloe Zhao. Just one year prior, she swept the Academy Awards in two categories including Best Picture and Best Director for Nomadland. Alongside veteran MCU cinematographer Ben Davis, they render both natural and intergalactic worlds with engrossing enormity.
Where Nomadland examines the place of a wandering spirit in contrast to the windswept frontier, Eternals mirrors that visual scale, but divorces it from any emotional resonance. When your focus is placed on chiseled warlords who fly around fighting CG aliens, it becomes difficult to comprehend the scope of its physical setting. The starry cosmos and foamy rolling seas are gorgeously depicted, but who really notices when Angelina Jolie is stabbing things with a staff made of lasers?
3. “I can’t believe Marvel chose this as the movie that will finally feature a sex scene.”
In the decade-and-a-half since Marvel Studios has been making movies, not once have they attempted a sex scene, for pretty obvious reasons. Given its Disney parentage, they deal with adult themes every now and again, but these movies are generally considered kid-friendly content—that is, before Eternals came into the picture.
In order to build a romance subplot, the movie details an awkward moment of intimacy between Ikaris (Richard Madden) and his companion Sersi (Gemma Chan) after helping the ancient Babylonians build a civilization. The scene plays out in seconds with no overt sexualization, but the fact that they went there is startling. Better them than Wanda and Vision, I suppose.
4. “This movie needs a Snyder Cut.”
Just half an hour into the movie, you can distinctly feel that Eternals is reaching for something so much bigger than we expected it to. Not since Justice League has there been a superhero epic with so many overlapping storylines, tonal inconsistencies, and irrational ambition that simply can’t be jammed into a 2-and-a-half hour timeframe.
In another reality, it could have easily constituted its own 10-part streaming series or supercut that expands on the world and the characters who inhabit it. This concept runs parallel to Zack Snyder’s four-hour cut of Justice League, a flawed movie that was a vast improvement over Joss Whedon’s translation. It wasn’t perfect, but it did help prove that massive stories need to allow room for viewers to grasp its characters, their motivations, and the larger story elements.
5. “Jon Snow and Robb Stark caught in a bizarre love triangle.”
Marvel’s casting has always been instrumental to the success of their massive franchise. Even after 14 years, they still find ways to surprise viewers; in Phase Three alone, we’ve seen Sylvester Stallone as a space marauder and Matt Damon as a thespian of Asgard. In 2021, the MCU collides with Game of Thrones in one of the most outlandish casting decisions we’ve seen so far.
In Eternals, Kit Harrington plays Dane, a science professor and Sersi’s love interest in the human world. When peril strikes unexpectedly and her centuries-long brush with old flame Ikaris is reignited, the unholiest ménage à trois is born between Robb Stark, Jon Snow, and a woman coincidentally named Sersi. Audiences may have predicted how Thanos would be defeated, but no one could have guessed we’d see a love triangle play out between the half-brothers of Winterfell.
6. “We’ve reached a new low for Marvel CG.”
Since Avengers first launched us into the outer orbits of space, Marvel has fallen into a painful habit of introducing the most generic CG monsters that serve no purpose but to pose a marginal threat to the protagonists. The formula might seem time-worn, but it’s generally forgiven as a necessary evil to establish conflict.
Eternals brings that trope to a screeching halt over its mediocre depiction of Deviants, beast-like alien creatures with opposable tendons. Their strange neon luminescence counteracts the beauty and realism of Chloe Zhao’s grounded visual style. When you consider the progressively cosmic direction this franchise is going in, it’s safe to say we haven’t seen the last of the alien creatures. Or abominable cloud monsters, in Loki’s case.
7. “The time-hopping is ludicrous.”
One of the movie’s biggest struggles is following the immortal heroes through mankind’s proverbial timeline. Their voyage spans across the globe at different points in time, trying not to meddle in human conflict but imparting tools, wisdom, and resources onto primitive civilizations to help their species thrive.
In doing so, the movie follows an unconventional narrative structure that shoots back and forth in time with a frustrating lack of rhythm. Within 30 minutes, we’re whisked from a village in ancient Babylon to present-day South Dakota, then back to an Aztec temple, then forwards to present-day India. From a viewer’s standpoint, the narrative whiplash becomes too jarring to try and comprehend.
8. “Kumail Nanjiani is the single best part of this movie.”
Since his claim to fame as Dinesh on HBO’s comedy series Silicon Valley, Kumail Nanjiani has been on a colossal upswing since 2014. After finding mainstream success with his starring vehicle The Big Sick co-written with his wife Emily Gordon, he’s been nominated for an Oscar, nominated for an Emmy, and now landed a coveted role in the MCU as Kingo, the Eternals’ resident funnyman.
There’s more to the Pakistani-born actor than just his sense of humor though. He’s not just one of the funniest comedians working today, he’s also one of the most physically magnetic specimens to walk the earth, having endured an arduous transformation to prepare for his role in Eternals. Given Marvel’s push toward ethnic diversity in casting, Nanjiani is a beacon of Middle East representation in the cultural zeitgeist. In the same way that Ryan Reynolds finally found the role he was born for in Deadpool, Kumail Nanjiani’s future seems astonishingly bright as the prima donna Bollywood star Kingo.
9. “Hiroshima? Seriously?”
From Fast & Furious to Ocean’s Eleven, all great crews need an innovator; in Eternals, that role is filled by Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), resident genius whose groundbreaking designs were intended to help mankind thrive, from field plows to steam engines. The inventor comes to a grim revelation during World War II when he stands among the ashes of a war-torn Hiroshima.
At face value, it’s easy to write off Marvel’s creative decision as tone-deaf and misguided. While the emotions are conveyed with sincerity, it seems improper to turn this true-life tragedy into a convenient plot device. Their larger intent doesn’t dawn on viewers until Phastos breaks down, lamenting a question that exposes the overarching metaphor of the entire MCU: is mankind ultimately worth saving?
10. “I love a good ‘preparing for the final battle’ montage.”
Even in preposterous movies, there’s a tangible ecstasy in the montage preceding the final battle. If Rocky can grow a beard and chop down trees in the Soviet snowstorms of Rocky IV, the Eternals can brace for mystic combat by gearing up and donning their enchanted armor in true superhero fashion.
In a movie so repeatedly derailed by its lack of consistency, the third act lead-up plays surprisingly well as an epic movie moment, much to the credit of its triumphant musical score by composer Ramin Djawadi, also known for his tremendous work on Game of Thrones.
11. “Death by sun = funniest Marvel demise ever.”
The mythological tale of Icarus, the boy undone by his own destructive ambition is re-enacted—quite comedically—when it’s revealed that Ikaris betrayed the order and led Prime Eternal Ajak (Salma Hayed) to her doom. After the remaining Eternals coalesce to thwart his treachery, he becomes wracked by guilt and wordlessly flies into the sun, apparently killing himself.
While Ikaris’ demise is portrayed as the film’s emotional reckoning, his half-baked decision was so abrupt that you can’t help but chuckle at how on-the-nose it feels. As the most powerful of the Eternals, his not-so-shocking heel turn had WWE levels of theatricality. One can almost imagine that “Ikaris -> sun” must’ve been the very first thing on the writer’s room whiteboard.
12. “From boy band to blockbuster.”
Given how ubiquitous spoiler culture has become in recent years, it was impossible not to know the details surrounding the mid-credit stinger which introduces Harry Styles as Eros, brother of the Mad Titan Thanos. Though the dramatic reveal was undercut by the introduction of Pip—his laughable CG sidekick—it delivered the long-awaited bridge between Eternals and the wider Marvel pantheon.
Since giving a surprisingly cogent performance in Christopher Nolan’s war epic Dunkirk, Harry Styles has been on the rise in terms of movie star marketability. Alongside fellow MCU newcomer Florence Pugh, the pop star will be headlining Olivia Wilde’s forthcoming psychological thriller Don’t Worry Darling, set to release in September. The details of how Marvel plans to employ him still remains to be seen but if Kevin Feige’s vision remains unchanged, there’s only One Direction this franchise can ultimately go: up and into the sun.